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Beer vs. Women (possibly offensive, but really funny!)

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Old Jul 20, 2001 | 11:00 AM
  #1  
Tedow's Avatar
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From: Arlington, VA
Default Beer vs. Women (possibly offensive, but really funny!)

I've debated posting this for awhile, but have finally decided it's too funny not to share. Hopefully my sense of humor won't piss anyone off .

Disclaimer: In no way do I condone the objectification of women.

Now that that's out of the way, enjoy!


Beer vs. Pussy
A beer is always wet. A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot. A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy
24 beers come in a box. A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy.
Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.
Advantage: Beer.
If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.
If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.
6 beers in a night and you better not drive.
6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy
Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Draw
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy
If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy
With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.
Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.
Pussy can make you see God. Beer can make you see the porcelain God.
Advantage: Pussy
If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy
Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.
If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.
If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Draw
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.
If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.
If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: beer.
The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.
The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.
Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Draw
Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage: Pussy.
The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.
Advantage: Pussy.
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Old Jul 20, 2001 | 11:03 AM
  #2  
johnyboy32's Avatar
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Joined: Jun 2001
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From: Atlanta, GA
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Good one
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Old Jul 26, 2001 | 07:40 PM
  #3  
Tedow's Avatar
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,751
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From: Arlington, VA
Default

TTT, just for kicks
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