So here's the story in a nut-shell... I started seeing this girl at the end of May of this year and we just started dating last week (almost 4 months later). Up through July and some of August, we were going at it like 2 or 3 times a week... awesome. Then... towards the end of August, it slowed a lot... I'm talking like once every week to once every week and half. So I questioned her about it and she just keeps telling me that she's not feeling good about her appearance right now and doesn't feel right sleeping with me cause she doesn't feel good-looking at the moment. She's insane cause she's a hottie (no pics will be supplied... lol). And like everytime, in those first months, that I would hint at it, it was all a go and she would even initiate things too. Now it's seriously like pulling teeth. So last night she asks me (cause I brought it up again), "Do you think I lost my sex drive?" and I said... "I hope not, cause that wouldn't be good." It's like, while we were only seeing each other, it was like all the time. Now that we're official and more worth it (kind of like newly weds that just want to hump all the time), it doesn't happen as often. She knows I won't just leave her, and it slowed up big time (I say this cause she was always afraid that I would only sleep with her and take off, which I didn't).

So I keep telling her... "I seriously think you were like that just to win me over and now that you have, you don't find it important anymore." And she just keeps telling me that the more I bring it up, the less she wants to do anything. So it seriously makes me wonder a lot and if this will continue. She said that not having sex for like 2 weeks is no problem and I'm like WTF???? If this continues and it's only been one week... I wonder what it's going to be like in a few months... Not having it at all?

What do you guys think?

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

 

Never to anyone in the history of the world! ''

You sure you aren't married? Typically there is a slow down period, but then it ramps back up to a more normal frequency, or else you get a divorce

 

2 or 3 times a week?!... shouldn't you have been having sex everyday, especially for a new relationship? my last relationship, the guy i dated for over a year, we had sex at least once a day... and if we missed a day, we'd make up for it the next day by getting it on at least twice. if we had time we'd have sex two or three times a day. once in the morning and once before we went to bed... maybe once before dinner and once before we went to bed if we were up for it. or once before bed and then we'd shower up before bed and do it in the shower again. and this was for the entire span of our 1+ year relationship, it never got old either... how old are you guys?...

sex is an essential part of a relationship. if you guys can't enjoy each other in the sack than it's not going to be very fun for either of you. the girl sounds like a she was only having sex with you to win you over **** that... she should be having sex to enjoy herself and please you too. sex with alterior motives is the worse....

 

lol, sorry but I had to laugh! Bless you, you aren't having a good time of it are you?!

Sex usually slows down a bit once you are a bit more established in a relationship. Me and him indoors do it when the cow jumps over the moon! No, on a serious note, we were at it 24/7 when we first got together but now it is far less regular than it used to be. We work opposing hours which doesn't help as one is always knackered when the other one is raring to go!

On the subject of her appearance, it's lovely that you obviously think she looks great. However as a fellow girly, and also being less than perfect at the moment I can identify with her. Trust me, the spark will still be there for her, but if she stood on the scales this morning and was less then happy with the result, she won't be all that body confident. Nothing knocks the confidence more than having to lay on the floor to zip your jeans up!! Her hormones witll still be saying "yes, go for it!" but her brain will be telling her that if she lets you anyway near her tummy then you might spot some flaw and run away screaming.

Consequently, she'll be worrying about wobbly bits and cellulite and it will be difficult for her to feel in the mood as she will automatically think that you will notice her flaws and the bits that she isn't feeling great about. You won't because you sound as if you care about her, but unfortunately that won't stop her worrying about it.

Talk to her (without trying to make a move on her), and tell her that you think she's a gorgeous hottie anyway. Inject a bit of romance in (bath with candles, back massage - and no wandering further down!) and hopefully a few concentrated days of attention should help her to feel a bit more comfortable with herself again. Once she is you can dust down you whips and chains and resume business as usual!!

 

sorry just noticed that a pesky link has inserted itself into my post just at the end there - just to clear it up that was not intentional and i don't know how it got there!

 

Well... that is a little rough cause we both still live with our parents. But we still found our ways... we always did. Even if it meant spending a night at a hotel cause she works at one and sometimes we get it for free. But seriously... living with our parents didn't change anything a bit. Just won't let us go at it everyday, numerous times. But even then, she says it's not really important to her and that she can survive sometime without it... really weird.

 

This is exactly what she says... she doesn't feel as her pretty self right now and she gets really shy and just doesn't feel like showing her body. I tell her all the time how good she looks and she knows it, but in her head she thinks she looks bad. And I tell you... I'm a really picky guy, so for me to say that, she should take it as is.

Not trying to an a$$ or anything, but if this continues, it makes me wonder about sticking with it or not. Cause being intimate with your partner is very important to me and it's a very giving act and should want to be shared as often as possible, as I tell her, but it doesn't seem to be important to her... no idea why. And if it continues to be this slow, then I know it will just get worse and I won't be able to take that. So I already told myself, give it time, she's an awesome girl, and see what happens.

Oh and I'm going to be 24 in November and she's 21. Some might think we're young but we already have our career's set and we are both very mature about things. So... no one pull out the young card on me. I'm still living at home cause I just graduated and just started working in June and am trying to save money for a down payment on a house because I refuse to pay rent for an apartment.

 

Smart move. I will do the same thing. No reason to make the landlord richer.

 

i'm confused as to why you started 'officially' dating her in the first place.

 

Ok... so I'm at work emailing my GF back and forth and she asked me to come in the Jacuzzi with her tonight and I said that it wasn't a good idea that we do that cause I'm gonna go crazy seeing her in a bikini right... lol. So she goes... you just need to control it... that made me annoyed.

I wrote back and told her that I shouldn't need to control it all. If I feel that way about her... it's kind of hard to turn the switch off you know... especially since we know her dad won't be home until like midnight.