Concerned about intimacy with the GF
I was thinking the same thing...
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Joined: Feb 2006
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From: Northeast Jersey
Originally Posted by bjohnston,Sep 20 2006, 10:38 AM
I don't know. I may be the voice of dissention here. I think it depends upon how much you like the girl and whether you are looking for a long-term relationship (though I'm not sure you need to be at 23 and 21). If you really like the girl and are looking for a long-term relationship, I'd be inclined to believe her explanation. I am strongly of the opinion that we all have our crosses to bear. None of us are perfect, and everyone has their issues. Perhaps she does have some issues at the moment and perhaps you will need to give her some time to work them out with you if you really like her and are looking for a long-term relationship. No girl that you date will ever be perfect. No friend of yours will ever be perfect. No child of yours will ever be perfect...you get my point? Of course, it also sounds like she may never have as strong a sex drive as you (or most men, probably). If this is absolutely unacceptable to you, dump her. And, if you do not really like her and/or are not looking for a long-term relationship, dump her. Personally, if I were 21 or 23 again, the last thing on my mind would be a long-term relationship (I tell myself this even though I had a couple when I was that age and younger). You only get to be that young once...
Cause now that her possible real side is coming out (if this whole thing isn't a phase and is for real), it puts me in this dilemma cause I started dating someone that wasn't really her and didn't know it.
I find that to be screwed up cause I put myself out there as myself and not as an "act". I've always told her sex is important and she showed me that she thinks so too, and now, nothing.
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Joined: Aug 2004
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From: Santa Monica-SoCal
ah, if only the world came as advertised...
childhood dreams of being an astronaut.
american cars are "rock solid"
cingular having the "least" dropped calls, meh
and if women advertised their true selves, it is possible that it wouldn't work out for them or maybe it might work out better since there wouldn't be such a diff in expectation. but you can't blame them, just like you can't blame a guy who works out 7 days a week and drives an expensive car only to turn into a fat, balding turd who is worth more dead than alive. heh, i digress.
im sorry for your troubles, OP, but it's cool that you post up here so we can all talk about it. just try to be the guy you would be proud to be. dont have to be mean to her, but show her that you expect a standard and that you're man enough to enforce it. and so to make sure you don't feel alone, i hope to be that man one day, too. worst case scenario, she thinks you're a jerk, but she also prob respect you more too.
childhood dreams of being an astronaut.
american cars are "rock solid"
cingular having the "least" dropped calls, meh
and if women advertised their true selves, it is possible that it wouldn't work out for them or maybe it might work out better since there wouldn't be such a diff in expectation. but you can't blame them, just like you can't blame a guy who works out 7 days a week and drives an expensive car only to turn into a fat, balding turd who is worth more dead than alive. heh, i digress.
im sorry for your troubles, OP, but it's cool that you post up here so we can all talk about it. just try to be the guy you would be proud to be. dont have to be mean to her, but show her that you expect a standard and that you're man enough to enforce it. and so to make sure you don't feel alone, i hope to be that man one day, too. worst case scenario, she thinks you're a jerk, but she also prob respect you more too.
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From: Southern Part of Heaven
Originally Posted by 8kGoodENuff,Sep 20 2006, 06:57 PM
I completely agree with you on that. It's just that she advertised herself to me when we were hooking up that she liked having sex a good amount of times, as she did show me and now it just almost completely came to a hault. If she wasn't like this as a real person, she shouldn't have been putting on an act that she was like that cause that was one of the reasons why I liked her so much you know. She should have been real from the beginning instead of showing me something that she possibly wasn't all the time.
Cause now that her possible real side is coming out (if this whole thing isn't a phase and is for real), it puts me in this dilemma cause I started dating someone that wasn't really her and didn't know it.
I find that to be screwed up cause I put myself out there as myself and not as an "act". I've always told her sex is important and she showed me that she thinks so too, and now, nothing.
Cause now that her possible real side is coming out (if this whole thing isn't a phase and is for real), it puts me in this dilemma cause I started dating someone that wasn't really her and didn't know it.
I find that to be screwed up cause I put myself out there as myself and not as an "act". I've always told her sex is important and she showed me that she thinks so too, and now, nothing.
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 6,452
Likes: 6
From: Northeast Jersey
Originally Posted by dyhppy,Sep 20 2006, 11:12 AM
ah, if only the world came as advertised...
childhood dreams of being an astronaut.
american cars are "rock solid"
cingular having the "least" dropped calls, meh
and if women advertised their true selves, it is possible that it wouldn't work out for them or maybe it might work out better since there wouldn't be such a diff in expectation. but you can't blame them, just like you can't blame a guy who works out 7 days a week and drives an expensive car only to turn into a fat, balding turd who is worth more dead than alive. heh, i digress.
im sorry for your troubles, OP, but it's cool that you post up here so we can all talk about it. just try to be the guy you would be proud to be. dont have to be mean to her, but show her that you expect a standard and that you're man enough to enforce it. and so to make sure you don't feel alone, i hope to be that man one day, too. worst case scenario, she thinks you're a jerk, but she also prob respect you more too.
childhood dreams of being an astronaut.
american cars are "rock solid"
cingular having the "least" dropped calls, meh
and if women advertised their true selves, it is possible that it wouldn't work out for them or maybe it might work out better since there wouldn't be such a diff in expectation. but you can't blame them, just like you can't blame a guy who works out 7 days a week and drives an expensive car only to turn into a fat, balding turd who is worth more dead than alive. heh, i digress.
im sorry for your troubles, OP, but it's cool that you post up here so we can all talk about it. just try to be the guy you would be proud to be. dont have to be mean to her, but show her that you expect a standard and that you're man enough to enforce it. and so to make sure you don't feel alone, i hope to be that man one day, too. worst case scenario, she thinks you're a jerk, but she also prob respect you more too.
Thanks guys for everything... I really really appreciate all the input and please keep it coming if you will. The more the merrier.
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From: Miami
Originally Posted by 8kGoodENuff,Sep 20 2006, 08:29 AM
I've tried casually "waxing her kitty", but when I do, she either says it tickles or she casually turns into a postion that I can't do anything anymore.
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From: Huntsville
Originally Posted by rubyrashel,Sep 20 2006, 05:18 PM
I sent PM, I was talking about literally taking her to a salon and having it waxed. Its weird but when I do that, and was dating my ex, all I wanted to do is show it off to him because he went wild over it.
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From: Miami
im just saying there are things that a girl can do, things that will turn her on throughout the day so by the time she sees you, she wants to F*** you. Another example is wearing a skirt and no underwear, it can kind of make a girl feel "naughty" which is the preferred mood by the time she sees you 
another thing though is that if she is seeing someone, psychologically they don't feel as bad/guilty if they arent doing anything in the bed with you. She probably doesnt realize that her not wanting sex with you is a subconscious act to alleviate her own guilt.
another thing though is that if she is seeing someone, psychologically they don't feel as bad/guilty if they arent doing anything in the bed with you. She probably doesnt realize that her not wanting sex with you is a subconscious act to alleviate her own guilt.