Fellow Married men: Do you have to work hard to get it?
Registered User
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 4,472
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From: Sydney
Ruined, It can only be leverage if you let it. Like someone said above 'be non chalant". If you can't control your sexual urges then they will be able to use it as leverage.
But in the end, why would your wife want to? You agreed on exclusivity so if she feels the need to use it as leverage then you are not fulfilling her needs (barring she has needs you cannot fullfill like a 5 million dollar house or something like that).
Yes, you shoud get out. The relationship was probably a mistake anyway.
But in the end, why would your wife want to? You agreed on exclusivity so if she feels the need to use it as leverage then you are not fulfilling her needs (barring she has needs you cannot fullfill like a 5 million dollar house or something like that).
Yes, you shoud get out. The relationship was probably a mistake anyway.
Registered User
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 979
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From: La Selva
Originally posted by gomarlins3
37 times in the month of June (not that I count............. o.k. I do count) and we've been married 11 years.
37 times in the month of June (not that I count............. o.k. I do count) and we've been married 11 years.
How do you count? One, two, three or is it 37 rounds? Just kidding! I was married for almost 20 years before I lost my wife to cancer and yes it can be spectacular-mundane. As long as it weighs heaviest on the spectacular side it's all good. It's all what you make of it. Been in a new relationship now for almost 4 years and it's like disneyland. Not married though. I kind of want that again but why fix it? My heart tells me one thing and my 20 year experience sets me straight. I guess the best thing to do is nothing.
Community Organizer
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 11,336
Likes: 218
From: seattle
Married 6 years. I work hard on the relationship overall. It's the definition of "labor of love" 
I'm getting back more than I put in, IMO.
That applies to all facets of the relationship
I'm getting back more than I put in, IMO. That applies to all facets of the relationship
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 3,714
Likes: 6
From: Greensburg, PA
Originally posted by cashout
I meant that it is leverage if you let it be leverage. "Do this or no sex" works (in making
you do whatever) if you let it. The right response is 'fine no sex then". She may try but it aint gonna work.
The second part: Not to stretch the meaning of marriage, but isn't the desire of new flesh
a need? Could it be satisfied.... well they have those 'open marriages' don't they?
The third part: It was my way of saying that I agree with you. If you can't get satisfied then
you should get out.
I meant that it is leverage if you let it be leverage. "Do this or no sex" works (in making
you do whatever) if you let it. The right response is 'fine no sex then". She may try but it aint gonna work.
The second part: Not to stretch the meaning of marriage, but isn't the desire of new flesh
a need? Could it be satisfied.... well they have those 'open marriages' don't they?
The third part: It was my way of saying that I agree with you. If you can't get satisfied then
you should get out.
