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fiance misses ex?

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Old Aug 27, 2006 | 05:02 PM
  #21  
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Originally Posted by no_really,Aug 27 2006, 04:24 PM
don't ask a question if you can't stand hearing the answer.
I disagree that is a question that has to be asked especially if you are going to be marrying this chick. I'd go with the "be a hard ass" plan and get the ball back in your court.
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Old Aug 27, 2006 | 07:06 PM
  #22  
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balls back in my court, thanks guys :-)!!!!!!!!

she said she apparently worded it wrong to me, the only thing she misses is talking to a good person, which he apparently was, but she told me she doesnt miss anything else about him, and basically apologized to me and gave me some good sexing last night ...woot woot!
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 06:55 AM
  #23  
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If she still has feelings for her ex, than you are insane for getting married. It sounds like you guys need more time and she definately needs more time to get over the ex. Women operate in very mysterious ways, they give you subtle hints that reveal their true feelings. Here's my take.. "she says that she still misses her ex, but doesn't want to be with him. In reality, this means, "she still cares about him deeply and really wants to be with him, but he is such an asshole and had to leave him and find something 2nd best and more "safe"". If you get married now, you will remain in the shadow of this guy and your relationship will continue to be unstable. If you really want to get married, do yourself a favor and get a pre-nup. All guys have to deal with women, and yes, they are a fuking pain in the ass...but dont put yourself out there and get married quite yet. In my opinion, marriage should be far down the road for ANY couple because couples really don't last anymore.

- Good luck
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 07:03 AM
  #24  
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Originally Posted by iwantyourcar,Aug 27 2006, 11:06 PM
she said she apparently worded it wrong to me, the only thing she misses is talking to a good person
I still don't think she worded it correctly. Are you not a good person?? I don't want to exacerbate the situation any more, because it sounds like you guys fixed it. That still doesn't sound right to me though.
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 07:17 AM
  #25  
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Originally Posted by iwantyourcar,Aug 27 2006, 10:06 PM
balls back in my court, thanks guys :-)!!!!!!!!

she said she apparently worded it wrong to me, the only thing she misses is talking to a good person, which he apparently was, but she told me she doesnt miss anything else about him, and basically apologized to me and gave me some good sexing last night ...woot woot!
yeah man thats kinda lame...something sounds kinda shady there but thats just my opinion...I would definately try to get this resolved sooner rather than later...does she still talk to this guy...how and why did they break up? those are things you still need to find out
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 07:22 AM
  #26  
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I would put in her butt......
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 07:33 AM
  #27  
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just because she gave you sex it doesn't mean anything. shes not a temporary girl, you're marrying her. So sex as a means of argument or disagreement solution does not work. And it definitely won't even smooth anything over when youre married, the sex'll just stop.
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 07:36 AM
  #28  
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The best advice you could ever get in your life is this: Wait to get married, if she is pressuring you, man up and tell her that you want to continue the relationship until you are ready. Marriage is such a huge commitment!
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 07:52 AM
  #29  
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Its normal. You're leaving out a lot of information, like was he her first real love, how long was she with him, where they to get married, did she leave him, are they still talking, etc.

What kind of person doesn't think about there ex every now and again? Not one I'd want to be with. If the ex wasn't an ass. No! you don't know if he's an ass based on what she tells you! Then why wouldn't she think about him every now and then. What kind of heartless person would just forget completely. Now missing and loving are two different things even though there is a link.

Certainly her saying that to you will bring on a knee jerk reaction. Its normal, you have to control it. If she need to talk about it listen, but don't offer up anything, I mean nothing. Don't inquire, don't preach, keep your damn mouth shut and listen.

You need to know where she is with this! You don't need to let her know how you feel. Soak it all in like a sponge and if you can't handle it and common sense says this isn't a good situation for you, split. No questions asked, don't turn around , don't look back, don't even miss a step no matter how bad you feel, how sad you are, how angry you are. Become a stone until she's gone, then do what you have to do with your friends. Talk to them, huddle in a corner crying, talk to your mother, even see a therapist. Just be stoic when dealing with the FACTS of the situation. Her feelings and what she says to you while you're just listening, are 100% of what you have to go on, NOT YOUR FEELINGS! So don't react if she says I miss having fantastic ceiling fan sex and his penis was SOOOO much bigger than yours. Just listen. It takes some serious willpower to hold that in during the conversation, but your objective is to get all the facts even more than you need to make the right choice. More will just substantiate your actions of leaving her if you so choose. That being said when you're finished listening you might come to the conclusion that she's a loving warm person that will on occasion think about the warm thoughts of the past even while she knows and feels that she's happier now. If that is the case, you've got a keeper. She'll be able to think about the great times you have when you've done something stupid to upset her, or while your away she won't look for comfort somewhere else but will think of those warm moments she had with you! That's the type of woman you can leave to fight a war and return four years later knowing that she's going to be happy to see you and was faith full when you were gone.
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Old Aug 28, 2006 | 09:14 AM
  #30  
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Originally Posted by Scot,Aug 28 2006, 07:22 AM
I would put in her butt......
IDB FTW!!!
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