I agree that 3 months is not a long time. Best thing you can do IMHO is to not tell her you are ready. That would put too much pressure on both of you. Thinking about this wall stuff is only going to make your expectations that much higher. You'll be thinking "she better don' dissapoint me because I am letting my guard down". Then she will dissapoint you for sure. Be it for a small or a big thing.

Just enjoy the relationship, do things that feel right without overthinking it. That will really be letting you guard down. And you should not expect the exact same from her, matter of fact you should not expect anything. If you do then it is not really love, it is just a regulated exchange of affection where you pettily (?) keep tally of each others "I love you".

 

 

Thanks for the replies so far. I was very tired when I posted so excuse me if I may have misstated a couple of things errr.. thanks vader1


I don't know... things SEEM to be going very well. She is definitely long term relationship material. I am definitely ready to settle down with a girl but I don't know if I want to be hurt again. It's just that in past relationships, the girl always felt more for me than I did for them and now it may be that the shoe is on the other foot. We are both pessimistic in relationships and have the exact same outlook. I wish there was some way that I can just reassure her and make her trust me how I feel about her without being skeptic. But I guess that will take some more time than I expected.

TriaXenginE, I think you understand where I am coming from and can relate to my situation. Thanks man.

CHIX RULE, I was afraid this would stir up some bad impressions especially in front of the girls. I am not a player. I am just trying to protect myself in what I am afraid might hurt me if it doesn't work out. However, I understand your reasoning.

Maybe I am just jumping the gun in what's going to happen and I am not seeing the picture through the POV of an optimist. I just don't want that sensitive mushy side of me to come back. I am very respectful and a gentleman when it comes to relationships but I avoid being the sensitive and mushy one.

Thanks for your insight everyone.

 

Mister2,

Let me break it down to you.

1) You are insecure.

2) Diverting attention to other girls WILL NOT get rid of your insecurities.

Here are the solutions:

1) Build confidence; do not be insecure.

2) Telling her verbally how you feel about her is a way of unleashing your insecurity upon her. SHOW her how you feel instead.

3) Keep the amount of affection you give her BALANCED with the amount of affection that she gives to you.

4) If you were CONFIDENT, you wouldn't be posting this problem on the board.

Good luck with building your confidence. Confidence takes a LONG time to build, and my guess is that you won't have enough of it in time to save this relationship. If you already told her how you feel, you may have done too much damage.

Let me know how it goes.

 

patient my grasshopper

 

Mister2 if you never gamble you will never win but in this case you may lose. If you think this may be the one for you dating other girls would be a sure way to make sure to screw it up.

 

You only live ONCE!!! If you don't take the risk you may never know how incredible it could be. It's better to do something and make a mistake than not to do something and then regret it the rest of your life. GO FOR IT!!!!!

 

. I think you've just got an immature handling and understanding of your feelings.

Best thing u can do is just either let urself fall in and hopefully it works out. If it doesn't, u'll get crushed and hurt beyond belief...but hey, it's a learning experience and if you dont kill yourself from it you'll just learn from it. I think for you it might be a lesson that needs to be learned.

 

cool