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I don't get no respect.

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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:47 AM
  #21  
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I said to one girl, "Come on, honey, I'll show you where it's at." She said, "You better, 'cause the last time I couldn't find it."
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:47 AM
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Oh, when I go to a nude beach, I always take a ruler with me. Yeah, just in case I have to prove something.
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:48 AM
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Oh, when I was a kid, when my parents went shopping, they always took me with them - that way they could park in a handicapped section.
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:48 AM
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What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:49 AM
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Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:49 AM
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I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees.
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:50 AM
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Oh, this girl was fat, when she walks backward, she starts beeping. I mean, fat. She asked me why my eyes were bulging, I told her, "You're standing on my foot!"
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:50 AM
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A lot of girls turn me down. One girl turned me down, she said she had to go to work in the morning. I told her, "I'll be finished by then!"
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:51 AM
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I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
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Old Oct 6, 2004 | 12:52 AM
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I'm getting old. I got no sex life. I get tired just holding up the magazine. At my age, I like to get sex over quickly. Then I can get to the nap.
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