I don't get no respect.

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Oct 6, 2004 | 12:52 AM

#31

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood he ran a tab!

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:53 AM

#32

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh!

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:53 AM

#33

RACER

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Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:54 AM

#34

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

Oh, my wife loves vacations. The other night she told me, "I wanna go someplace I've never been before." I took her to a men's room.

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:54 AM

#35

RACER

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With girls, I don't think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex.

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:55 AM

#36

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

I'm trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don't know if I'm coming or going

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:56 AM

#37

RACER

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People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon...

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:56 AM

#38

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor, I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:57 AM

#39

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died; they asked my mother, "Paper or plastic?"

Oct 6, 2004 | 12:57 AM

#40

RACER

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From: Knoxville, TN

Last night I came home, I walked in the house, I picked up the extension. My wife was having phone sex with some guy. I told the guy, "Don't let her fool you, she's faking it."

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