hey guys, i got a problem with my girlfriend. Weve been goin out for four years now, and everything i seem is going good but once in awhile she gets in these weird moods for no reason at all. When i call her, She has an attitude, if im just calling to say hi, and im in a good mood, she wont feel like talkin. like i called her today to say hi, and i asked her whats been up with her lately? how come shes actin so shady, and she said shes just tired and busy. she does work like 60 hours a week and i tried not to make her mad over the phone by askin her alot of questions since she didnt feel like talkin anyway. But i never told her how i feel cuz im afraid she'll dump me. what i mean is i feel like she doesnt care about me like she used to. It hurts cuz i love her so very much and care about her and have never felt like this about a girl before and its as if she doesnt even care. I always tell her i miss her and love her, but she'll never say it to me anymore. I feel like shes losing interest in me although she said she doesnt that its just that shes very busy at work from February to March. she never calls me at night anymore like she used to and when i ask her how come she doesnt call me much, she just says shes tired. but i hate when we talk, and shes always in a pissy mood. when she calls me, i always have her full attention and even if im havin a bad day, i still talk to her like im the happiest guy in the world. even if she calls me at work, and im busy, i still take a break and take time to talk to her. when i call her at work, shes like i cant talk right now, and just like that shes like i gotta go, bye. the things i have done for this chick, i dont think anyother guy has treated her the way i have. but i dont know what to do. i love her so much, and im afraid to lose her, but she doesnt seem like she cares about me at all. we dont even see each other that much cuz were both busy and im really hurting myself. i guess im just afraid to be lonely thats why im stuck in this bad relationship. i just dont get what her problem is. i need help!

 

I would recomend that you start to slowly pull yourself away from her and see how she reacts.
As an example, dont tell her that you love her everytime you get off the phone or when you leaver her.
How may times a week do you guys see each other? If its like 4 times a week try cutting it down by a day. How she reacts to these things will tell you a lot.
Dont go over board on things just start to do it very slowly. If she continues to act like she doesnt care then you may be in some big trouble. If she starts to question things like, "Why dont you tell me you love me anymore" then you know things are going just fine and it was in your head. You also dont want to press her with so many questions, just kick it for a little bit and see how things unfold. Please keep us posted, we would like to know.

 

thats what pisses her off. my questioning. im very insecure so i always ask her questions like " are u gonna break up with me?" "are u mad at me?" "do u still wanna talk to me?" i guess i do it because i just wanna test her to see if she cares about me. ofcourse she does say no to all those questions i ask her, but i just wanna make sure im not wasting my time, or her time so thats why i ask her questions. I hope she questions me or says things to me like "i miss you" "i love you" because that ur right, i will know things are fine and it was just in my head. Its also weird because she THINKS everything is fine when in reality she doesnt even know how i feel. I talked to her around noon, and i asked her if she wanted me to call her at work later and she said sure. but im not going to because ill end up thinking once again if things are fine or not. i do try to pull myself away from her and not call her for a few days to see if she'll call me first but when she doesnt, i being a bitch that i am quickly pick up the phone and call her. i just cant get over her. i mean, i want to be with her, but if this is how shes going to act, then it really sux and i dont think im gonna be able to get over her. lately, we havent been seein each other at all. oh yeah, im 21 and she turns 21 too next month. also, we live an hour away from one another so i rarely do get to see her that much. and we have to sneak out cuz her mother doesnt approve of me because im not catholic because shes very religious. i guess she doesnt give a shit if 2 people love each other. but goin back to the girlfriend, i do test her to see if she loves me so thats why i ask her questions, and i told her so many times it makes me feel good when she tells me things like she misses me or cares about me. maybe she was just havin a bad day?? i mean, just the other day she called me and was in a great mood. maybe im just over-reacting but ill keep u guys posted.

 

TALK TO HER ABOUT IT! Communication is key my friend. If you can't communicate then things will only get worse. It may well be that she's just really busy and is stressed out. OTOH something might really be bothering her. But you don't know if you don't ask. Don't test her, tell her. Exlpain your thoughts carefully and tell her how she's making you feel.

Anyway, just my 2 cents.

 

I know communication is the key. u dont know how many times i say that to myself. but the only reason i havent told her how i feel is cuz ur right, she has been stressed out and i dont want her flippin out on me. i mean, those questions that i ask her, thats pretty much what i want to talk to her about. I know for a fact she is really busy and stressed out. but all she does is work. cuz she is a manager and all she ever tells me is how she doesnt wanna go to work cuz these other managers are there and always makin her life a livin hell. so i guess she just takes it out on me. i dont know. and it sux cuz lately the only time she calls me is when shes either goin to work, or leavin work or if i call her at work. so thats another reason i havent been able to tell her how shes making me feel.

 

Yes, but asking her if she's going to break up with you may ask one thing in your mind and something different in hers. Ask her very specific questions, not just "are you upset?"

Take this stuff for whatever its worth.

 

she found a new b/f. You should break up with her now, or be the one with a broken heart.

 

doesn't sound like you have a very healthy relationship if you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for her to dump you. Grow apart and move on. It needs to be a two way street for mutual respect.... .

there are other ones out there...

 

yeah, i know what u guys are tryin to say. but im not gonna do anything till i have a talk with her. i doubt she has another b.f. afterall, on V-day, she did buy me some cool stuff. and v-day wasnt that long ago...why would she even waste her time buyin me shit if she had another bf. i guess shes just too busy for a relationship right now. maybe thats what is. she doesnt want a bf right now.

 

i wouldn't jump the gun and break up with her. nor would i directly ask her if she is going to break up with me. Maybe the time you guys are spending together has reached a point where she wants to see a different side of the relationship? see if you can make arrangements with her work and take her out for the weekend? surprise her? show that you care? maybe the gay thing of sending her flowers to brighten up her day with a card say how since you don't get to talk to her all that much, that maybe these flowers can cheer you up... something along those lines. If she doesn't say anything, or she doesn't change her attitude.. that is when you know it is over...