The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be. The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of one outstretched hand to ehe other. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my pecker to the bottom of my balls." It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old Chief insisted and they decided to go along with him provided the measurement was taken by a medical officer. The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's pecker and began to work back. "Chief," he suddenly exclaimed, "Chief, where are your balls?' The old Chief saluted and calmly replied "Vietnam, sir!"

 

I laughed.

 

you got a snicker out of me.

 

 

LOL!

 

lolol

 

Sent a copy to my son-in-law. He is a master chief now serving in the middle east.

 

so guy number 2 had an 8 foot wingspan? was he a velociraptor?

 

Here's another take on retirement sent to me from a friend...

As many of you know, I had ambitions of finding a simple,
uncomplicated part time job after retiring from my 'day job'.
Unfortunately, as I have gotten a little older, I have become a
little less sensitive. So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart
greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud,
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two
kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning, and
welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they
twins?'The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no,
they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the
hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't
believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping
at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work........
---------------------------------

Warren