Background: My girlfriend have been dating for over 3 years now, and we had a big fight in mid July. The main issue we had was trust. I trusted her, but just not enough due to the people around her. Particularly some of her "friends", since they've been shady, and have made a bad influence on her before. She keep on saying that they're good people and she always wanted to see the good in them and gave them the benefit of a doubt.


Well, this has been bothering me for the past month or so. My "girlfriend" and I are currently taking a break, we both just needed space and time away from one another. We're fighting more often nowadays (usually we would rarely ever have a fight). She said that I'm too controlling and she needed more freedom and independent. Personally, I don't think I'm too controlling at all. More like caring, but maybe it rubbed her the wrong way. I don't know if her friends are feeding her all these ideas, but we seem to be hanging out lesser by the days. Usually, we would work or go to school, come home and enjoy each other's company (movies, dinner, haning out, etc...)

I just truly don't have that much trust in her at all right now. She's been hanging out later than normal, and been "missing" a lot of my phone calls. Maybe I did actually had bad reception, or if she just ignored my calls. I mean, if she wants to hang out with her friends, and go clubbing, or whatever. I normally, said cool, no problem. But lately, whenever I asked her to go out to dinner or watch a movie, she says "I'm too tired" or whatever reasons she can think of. But when her friends asked her to hang out, she says "Yeah." Just doesn't sound right to me.

Maybe I'm paranoid and reading too much into this. But I'm "single" now. I don't know if I should see "if the grass is greener on the other side" or just give her the space that she needs. I have several girl friends that I know for a fact if I ask them out on a date, they'd say yes (not to sound cocky or anything). But should I? This is the first time I've been single for a while now. Before her, my ex and I went out for 2 years as well. So, I haven't experience the single life for almost 5 years now.

So, I just want to know if you guys prefer the single life or rather be in a relationship? And how should I handle this situation? All positive criticism/comments are welcome. I'd rather hear the truth than a lie. I'm just here to share this story with my fellows S owners. Maybe some of you can relate to me. I don't expect you guys to be Dr. Phil or anything, and I know that this isn't the best place to ask for advice/opinions, but then again, something is better than nothing.

/rant

 

Sounds like she's not into the relationship that much anymore. I say take advantage of your "break" and hang out with those girls, don't try to put labels on anything, just spend some time with them, experience what other people are like.

I'm not sure how old you are, but if I were you I would play these games, I'm only 21 but I don't have time to play stupid mind games, if you want to be with someone, be honest with them, don't act like a high schooler. I'm referring to her behavior btw, she seems to be playing with you.

Don't be in a relationship just to be in one, if you're not happy, get out of it before it gets worse.

 

 

+2

 

She's already moved on. You're going to turn into the nagging ex-boyfriend. Don't play the chump. Bag some sweet, sweet a$$. Believe it or not, it'll make you more attractive to your ex.

 

Huy, I've met you and your girlfriend a couple of times now, and I can genuinely say that you're a good guy.

I also honestly think that you two were a perfect couple. I don't know what exactly went wrong but hopefully things work out for the better.

Don't worry too much about it, if she truly loves you, there's nothing to worry about. Just remember to have fun and don't regret anything.

 

Honestly I am now married (I'm 25) but I love being in the relationship more than I ever dreamed. I can tell you when you find that you will know. It sounds cliche, but it is cliche for a reason (it's true).

Now, to me your trust issue could mean 2 things, 1) you really don't trust HER, which is OK, and if this is the truth then move on, or 2) you really want to be with her and will do anything to make sure that it is just you and nobody else. If that is the case tell her and back off.

If you tell her who to hang out with because you don't want her to be with anyone else then you are only going to push her away, but if you really don't trust her, then the relationship is over.

Best of luck either way but do what you feel not what someone on the internet tells you to do.

 

sounds like me and my now "Ex"....too tired for me, but always awake for her friends. pissed me off!!!
but i say,....if you love her and want her def. dont do anything to make her not want you back,....i.e screwing someone else!
dont try and hide anything from her either
sometimes you just gotta sit back and make them miss you.
happened more than once with my past relationships......going from talking everyday for 2yrs to not talking at all for one day is hell...if u can make it a week,....they are bound to call and check up on u cuz they miss u.
personally i like relationships,....better than finding a fling and then hoping u dont catch something ya know?! there is comfort level you obtain and people like to stay at that comfort level,......you cant satisfy that but humping random club hoochies, the only reason there are guys that do this is because they are keeping themselves busy and not having enough time to realize they miss the finer things in life.

 

Try hitting her.

 

This is where you get the usual.... "punch her in the throat" comment.

Seriously, though.. I don't know your age, but you've been in some long term relationships. 3+ years is a lot of time. Depending on her situation, it could be TOO long of time. Could be she has lost interest in you due to she feels that your relationship has hit it's peak and you have nothing more to offer.

Being in a relationship for guys is all good. Most guys would never marry if they didn't have to. It's usually the woman who wants the commitment right?

If I were YOU......... I'd enjoy the "single" life a little. You've been in 2 long term relationships for the past 5 years. Maybe doing a little "single" time will help you to realize how much you actually like it or hate it.

If you like it.... don't get involved in long term relationships where you end up stringing the girl along but never pop the question.

If you don't like it.....maybe you will realize that the NEXT long term relationship you are in.....that maybe it's time to offer a little bit more.

JMO.


Tim