So if you're content with 90%
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 11,950
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From: MAHT-O-MEDI
Originally Posted by Daniel L,Jun 21 2010, 12:52 PM
Vader, the OP is openly gay so your advice is a lil off.
My only close gay friends are old dude who likes young gold diggers cuase he is rolling in cash, young guy who shtups anything that moves, and guy in the closet who does not want to talk about it much.
But just change any of my "she"s to "he" or "floozie" to "he-whore" and the advice probably holds.
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Joined: May 2006
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From: Calgary
I'm going to say some cheesy things here. To be in a rewarding relationship, there are 3 things that are very important, aside from the traditional communication, respect, blah blah blah.
My advice would be to speak with your partner, recognizing that they'll probably get slightly offended or sad when you suggest that everything isn't great.
I think you need all of the following:
1) There must be some characteristics in the other person that you admire. You must see certain traits in your partner that you value, and maybe even wish you had, yourself. I think they must have qualities you don't find yourself recognizing as strongly in other people.
2) You must appreciate the other persons actions. It's key that you recognize their efforts to make you happy. This could be doing things for you, complimenting you, sending you messages or leaving you notes, etc. These must be recognized and appreciated as indicators that the person cares for you and your feelings.
3) You must share....SOMETHING. You don't have to have the same hobbies, necessarily, you don't even have to like the same type of movies. You must have some semi-sustainable activity meeting-ground where you can come together. This/these activity/activities can and likely will change over time, but you've both got to recognize that you need to ensure you always have at least 1 or 2 things that you enjoy doing together (outside of drinking and sex).
That's my thought on this whole deal. If after you talk to your partner you don't feel your relationship features the three items listed above, I don't think you'll last.
My advice would be to speak with your partner, recognizing that they'll probably get slightly offended or sad when you suggest that everything isn't great.
I think you need all of the following:
1) There must be some characteristics in the other person that you admire. You must see certain traits in your partner that you value, and maybe even wish you had, yourself. I think they must have qualities you don't find yourself recognizing as strongly in other people.
2) You must appreciate the other persons actions. It's key that you recognize their efforts to make you happy. This could be doing things for you, complimenting you, sending you messages or leaving you notes, etc. These must be recognized and appreciated as indicators that the person cares for you and your feelings.
3) You must share....SOMETHING. You don't have to have the same hobbies, necessarily, you don't even have to like the same type of movies. You must have some semi-sustainable activity meeting-ground where you can come together. This/these activity/activities can and likely will change over time, but you've both got to recognize that you need to ensure you always have at least 1 or 2 things that you enjoy doing together (outside of drinking and sex).
That's my thought on this whole deal. If after you talk to your partner you don't feel your relationship features the three items listed above, I don't think you'll last.
