theres nothing wrong with u man. just relax and live ur life. whatever ur age is 40 or 50 and so on, when ur ready to have kids ur ready.
and if its not meant to be then its not

 

Skii2nr, some people just never feel the need to have childen. That is fine. But if you are asking yourself why don't you feel like having one you may be feeling like having one for the first time and can get your head around that feeling. Or someone is guilt tripping you to the point of making you question your lifestyle choice. If so, shame on them.

As far as not liking kids goes I agree with was has been said above. My wife used to not want kids because she could not imagine herself looking after them. This was mostly based on other people's kids that she knew. Then she met my brother's kids and slowly started changing her mind. One day she woke up and picked a date by which she wanted to start having kids... sure enough we are upto #2 already.

Having said that I think if I had gotten to be 40+ before I had kids I would be tempted not to have any at all. I feel I would be too set in my ways to accept the changes required in bringing up kids. Here are some changes I have had to make so far:
- 5:30 am gym sessions are gone. Not enough sleep to bother getting up that early. I hope to start again once they sleep through the night.
- Paycut. I left a high pay/ high pressure job to be able to spend a few hours every day at home with the kids.
- Social life: Some people just don't want you around for dinners and such when you bring the kids. Finding a babysitter every weekend is a pain in the neck/wallet.
- Swearing: I didn't swear much. But now I sensor myself all the time. It is probably a good thing.
- TV: Watch less. Lots of prime time shows just aren't suitable for kids. You can tape them but then when are you going to watch them if you are already walking around on 5 hours sleep?

P.S. we waited 8 1/2 years after getting married to have the first one. Last month we celebrated 11 years of marriage and this month will be 15 years together.

 

i think most people cant afford themselves........so they dont wanna give up more and more to have kids. very few people actually "plan" to have kids.....first its "o shit! i have to sell the S"...then after reality sets in im sure most realize what is more important

 

Good stuff.

My thoughts are...... because I'm adopted, I don't have that "natural" bond with my family or parents.

IMO....the natural internal desire to carry on the blood line is not there. It's almost like because I don't know my real mother and father, I don't have that "family" sense of need. i.e. If I was close to my real parents, I would be "proud" so to speak to have a child and present them to my parents as grandparents to my children. Being adopted, I don't feel any of that.

I know without experiencing because I've heard it from 99% of people I know WITH children, that it's a momentus event in their lives and that children really change you as a person and as a human being. Something I know that I would love to experience...... but something that in this life.... I'm perfectly happy without.

Living vicariously seems to be working well enough and the Dual income, no kids really helps too.

Tim

 

not having a child is no big deal. at least you have the sense to know that you don't want kids and actually NOT having them - much different from people having unwanted kids.

while you're at it, get yourself fixed so there's no looking back

my wife says we're done having kids, so i'm considering that route as well

 

It's all different when the kid is YOURS. Other people's kids drive me nuts a lot of the time, too, even after I've already had one of my own.

Think about it - how many other wives do you like or think that you'd marry? Umm...maybe one other one in the world. You probably think women are crazy (they are!) and unpredictable (they are!) and that you could never marry another one (you shouldn't!).

It's all about having your own. You'll love your own and hate the rest. Or something.

 

I'd bet having my own kid would change my opinion but otherwise you sound perfectly normal to me. Not "normal" for the general population, otherwise we'd have all died out by now, but rather for someone of above average intelligence and personal drive.

 

some kids annoy the hell outta me. kids that arent diciplined and trained correctly. im 24 Italian married for two years my wife is 25, and we plan on having two kids. my dad and i are very close and i am now old enough to realize that having a son of my own would be one of the best gifts i could ever get. we plan on waiting for a few more years before we have kids, but its a time that i look forward too.

 

Oh man. . . so, yeah, I was having this exact same conversation last week with an ex-gf of mine (we're on speaking terms. . . that sort of bit).

While I know I'd make a great dad. . . I don't want to live the suburban nightmare. What kinda torques me off is how difficult it is for me to find a woman that:

1. Wants kids

AND

2. Doesn't want to live the suburban nightmare.

At 32, #2 is still WAYYYYY more important than #1.

 

If your wife passes away first, she'll have you by her bedside.

But when you die, you'll die alone.