HA HA HA what a sexist thing to say!

Statistically, it is BOTH spouses who change after the wife has children, for the same reasons already mentioned. Plus, the husbands no longer see their wives as the "sexy mama" they married but rather as the mother of their children.

Also, statistics show that many husbands begin having affairs after the birth of the second child. (I've even seen it happen in marriages of my own friends and relatives.)

For me, two more reasons not to have children!

 

I used to hate kids. Then I had one. It completely changed my life. You can't relate unless you have one of your own. Enzo himself said that the purest love a man has is for his son. No offense but adopting one or helping bring one up is not the same thing.

In fact my son is sleeping next me right now while I am surfing the net.

 

hey Tim,
you make very important, relevant points. imo, people who shouldn't have kids due to being unprepared, end up having too many and make it all look horrendous.

trying to analyze why you dont want to have kids would require more personal info. off the bat, yes, you might not have the greatest emotioal connection when it comes to thinking about family. you also strike me as being very pragmatic and watching other people's kids is like a sign from god pointing u in the other direction. i agree with you on that one.

however, it becomes less a logical issue and more of an existential one. what is the point of this life? there is no correct answer obviously. but some like the idea that you can pass your wisdom and knowledge to your kid. or if you like giving gifts, there is nothing greater tha giving love for many years.

have you ever had a dog or pet that meant a great deal to you? maybe that's an option to try first with less risk.

sorry for the long post, but bottomline. do what you want. but imo, if done "right" having ONE child might be the best thing you ever do in your life. research studies have shown that families with 1 child are the happiest over families with more children and adults with no children.

 

What studies? From what I've seen, these only kids turn out a little to a lot strange and generally have a built in sence of entitlement because they never learned to share.

 

i dont have the names of the studies on hand, but there have been many. the studies focused on the happiness of the parent, NOT how the kid turned out.

 

That part makes sence and is applicable in this situation. I have friends who had one kid and then got sterilized. They are happy with her, (she's great) and are overall happy people.

 

SIIK2NR, I agree with you somewhat on the wife->mom thing. Can't deny that I am no longer No1 in the priority stakes around here. But the kids will grow up soon enough. They aren't going to be utterly dependent on us forever.

 

Get a HOT nanny for yourself to go with the kid and you will be fine.

 

famous last words

 

Yep. No spoiled brats here. Once you can wipe your own butt you're on your own!