Forgot to mention that I have 2 "step" children. 23 and 25 years old.

Raised them from when they were 11 and 13 years old.

Maybe that's another reason I don't feel the need.


Tim

 

I always grew up having great thoughts about how it would be to have a son. As I get older and as occupied and selfish as my life is, I'm having second thoughts. Sure some experiences will be really good, but there is A LOT of work involved. Maybe having children isn't for everyone, and is a big responsibility, so it's good that you're not taking the decision lightly.

ON A POSITIVE NOTE:

I'm not religious, so I think with self philosophy. Being liberal and not religiously bound has allowed my mind to wonder as far as I let it. I've learned that there are three phases to life. 1st you learn the world and question everything, from when you're born till the point you're done exploring. This happens at a different age for everyone. 2nd you stop thinking about the world as within yourself and think about the happiness of your wife/kids... in the 3rd phase you've seen most of what life has to offer and now you sit back and observe it in your children/grand children.

In a nutshell, if you stay stuck in one of those phases for your entire life, you might be missing out on a lot of emotions and experiences life has to offer. Good Luck

 

oh and I think it's 50% nature and 50% nurture. You can't control entirely how your children will be.

 

I was a school teacher of a few years, and based on that, I'd say your helping to raise your wife's kids has a lot to do with your feelings.

You can sleep at night knowing you did make a great difference in two kids' lives.

 

I've always wanted kids. No more than 3 but at least 1. I can understand why people wouldn't want their own though. To be honest, I'm a bit afraid to bring a child into this world that we live in.

Believe me when I say that kids are a handful but it's all about WHO parents them!

 

Tim, you could have my parents..

 

Women change after they start having kids, beware.

 

Thanks....but no thanks.... being adopted, I already have 2 sets!

 

Another good point that I forgot to mention.. thanks for bringing it up.

I've always liked being the center of attention so to speak in the house. I love and very much appreciate my "WIFE" so to speak.

When a woman has a child... IMO, they no longer are a "WIFE" to their husband, but become more so a "MOM" to the children. A totally different animal.

I don't want my "WIFE" that I married to become a "MOM" to me and for me to have to take a back seat or lower priority in the household.

May sound a little selfish...and probably it is, but just something else to consider when having children.


Tim

 

kids are great, I would just suggest waiting awhile before having them. It is proven that older men can still land decent and young girls so men these days can have kids whenever they want. This isn't as true for women who typically lose stock after their 20's. Granted, their are some women who can keep it together in their 30's, maybe 40's (rarely), but its rare. Once you have kids, your wife will really not pay you much attention anymore, the man in the relationship always suffers the most.