Got it all working now thankyou!
okay so these are the cables i have:

dash control unit

connector for the dash control unit for an alpine headunit


this is the part the image that confused me,(dash control manual) is the dash control thing they sent me suppose to connect to the head unit directly, if so it doesnt match my apline connection

 

you have to go to Modifry.com and order the part needed for this.

 

I'd recommend the Modifry DCI -- especially for those installing Alpine head units as Modifry also has a PnP harness for Alpine that makes install a snap. However, the Autoleads DCI should include everything needed for install.

I have no experience with the Autoleads DCI but it looks like others do:
https://www.google.com/search?q=auto...hrome&ie=UTF-8

 

got it all working amazingly! with the help someone else who purchase the same dash control unit >LINK<

i even managed to get the mute button working, everything is perfect, saved myself quite a bit rather than going with the modifry DCI, id definitely recommend the Autoleads DCI
thankyou though for those who replied.