[QUOTE]Originally posted by ralper

 

He's 18, kick him out.

 

Think it through. Don't do anything rash. Times have changed considerably from when we were kids, and I really think he needs your help.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ralper
Think it through.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ralper
Think it through.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MsPerky

 

Go biblical on him. Giveth and then taketh away.

Yes, times have changed, but have they changed for the better or do parents live in fear of their children filing a lawsuit against them, going on Oprah and blaming all of their problems on their parents or even worse, pulling a gun and shooting mom & dad?

I am all for supporting my children but if they don't make any effort to be self sufficient I'm not going to give them anything. If they're under 18 (society usually views this as an age of responsibility) I have no choice but to teach, help and guide them through times of trouble. Once they're 18, they have to carry that burden on their own shoulders.

If you have a problem with taking it all back then just write it off in your own wallet and say keep it all, just get out and find your own home and money.

If you are a cosigner and he defaults, then most definately take the car back.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by MsPerky

 

Conversation over. I'm not going to talk about this on the Internet. It's complete bullshit and I'm fed up. How many chances do you give him? 3? 7? 27? 100? He's beyond them all.

 

I agree with some of what MsPerky and ralper say, but not all so I will agree to disagree with respect.

Sould you help him? Yes, but not financially. There is no harm in talking and advising then he can choose to take that advice or not. If he's leaving you f-bombs on voicemails or even in one on one conversations, then stop talking until he can respect you. After all, he's the one needing help, if he went into a bank and told the loan officer, "Give you a loan you mother f-er!" I don't think they would help him out and they'd probably ask him to leave. If he can't respect you in your own house or in your workplace, then cut him off until he can.

Granted, you're not a bank or a place that sees public traffic, but he did leave a profane message on your office voicemail and that is way out of line, what if your boss walked by while you were listening to it on speaker phone, or if you're the boss, what if it was an assistant that overheard it. With workplace laws these days, you could be reprimanded for that and it could affect your career.

You definately need the full support and agreement of your wife, if you don't have that and your son knows it, he'll just go behind your back and get help from her, or she'll go behind your back, either way, that'll add another bone of contention on an already troubled situation.