One of my purposes in starting this thread was to alert folks to the 'high cost of dying' and perhaps disclose some of the 'tricks of the trade'....such as the 100% markup on caskets (which also applies to other services provided). Many funeral directors are quite professional, but there are also many that will take advantage of the emotional circumstances.

There are some 'memorial societies' that will handle affairs at a much smaller expense....but one must seek them out and make some plans in advance.

 

Jerry, I doubt if many in the Vintage Forum really are going to be surprised with the cost of dying. I suspect many have been down that road already with a relative or two. In any case, it's a rip off but if you know of a better way to say goodbye with a little style.... speak up.

I know that the only thing I can honestly remember when it came to my dad's was the Wake afterwards. He would have loved it and we didn't disappoint him. That's a good thing. Whereas, when my wife's mother died, all I can remember is the selfishness and greed of her family ....... not a good memory for either of us.

 

Dave has hit the nail on the head: What would the deceased have wanted.....if someone had asked them in the months before the end?

 

^^ That is why it is of utter importance when you do your wills and powers of attorney that you make certain your executor or personal representative has a conformed (which is an unofficial copy) copy of your will wherein you state your wishes. Therefore, he/she will know before the actual probate of your will what you wanted done and can carry out those plans for you. The actual signed copy should be placed in your lockbox and your personal representative should have instructions as to how to obtain the executed (signed) original at the time of your demise. Don't take my word for it, consult an attorney. [that is, of course, if you really care what happens when you die. I personally just want absolute simplicity and were it not for my children/spouse, I would prefer a private, family only, scattering of my ashes. no services, no memorials, etc.]

 

This thread brings up a question for me.

Should our final arrangements/services be what we want, or what gives our family comfort? (Is this a hijack? Should I start a new thread, Jerry?)

I've specified what we want (NO WAKE) and my sister (an atty) has it in writing. But I also gave my official stamp of approval that if our son wants something else, and it gives him comfort, that's OK too.

I'll be dead, will it really matter to me?