Granted, you thought it was going to taste like ass; instead, it tastes like durian.

I wish that Raj, per my half-wit advice, find an interesting post-Obama tax dodge with this.

 

Granted, raj become a billionare as more americans shite themselves

I wish durian smelled as good as liv tastes.

 

Granted. Liv Tyler now smells like Durian. You move to Coalinga, CA because, given this paradigm shift, Harris Ranch smells like Cow roses.

I wish I could get enough time to drive down CA-25 this weekend.

 

Granted, you lose your job so you have the time. Your Element gets impounded and you end up with a puke green rental Geo Metro that smells like the toxic avenger.


I wish I had time to test drive the lambo for sale in town this week.

 

Granted, a geo metro side swipes you and you drive straight into a waste management truck, they jump out and kick your butt. Then you find out your insurance dropped you the month before for a NSF check. that your SO had spent on crack.

I wish Raj the best.

 

Granted. He moves out of the shit hole town he lives in and moves into a piss hole town.


I wish this thread wouldn't keep dropping to the 2nd page every other day.

 

Granted, it gets locked for too much metro content.

I wish my clients were honest with themselves.

 

Granted. They are so honest, they tell themselves they need a better (whatever it is you do for them), so you get fired as their (whatever it is you do for them).


I wish I knew what INTJ did for his clients.

 

Granted, you find out what he does for his clients, you then become a client. After getting charged too much by him for his services, you decide to start your own business mirroring what he does. By the time you get all your ducks in a row to start your business, INTJ catches up to you for writing a bad check. He f's you up so badly, you can no longer perform tasks needed to do his job.

I wish it was Nov. 5th so I could figure out if I need to flee the country or not.

 

Granted. Since you skipped through four days, you die of old age, so there's no fleeing for you anyway.


I wish I had something better to do tonight than hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.