cheepah dan a hookah

 

Two businessmen in Sun City Grand Arizona were sitting down for a break in their "soon-to-be" new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked "What are you sellin' here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling assholes." Without skipping a beat the old timer said "Must be doing well, only two left." Moral: DON'T MESS WITH OLD PEOPLE

 

More important than the midterm election is the all-consuming question of why the chicken crossed the road. Some reflection...

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken, although it depends upon what your definition of “chicken” is?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2010, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2010. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

 

While the following answer to the question posed was not correct and the student obviously did not understand the question – in the overall global view he may have been right.
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

 

Wow all of your jokes are not only old as dirt but they also really suck!

Time to shake this motherf-cker up...

I got a million of em...

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Two blonde girls walk into a department store.They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Nancy sprays it on her wrist and smells it, "That's quite nice, don't you think, Kathy?"

Kathy takes a sniff and replies, "That is nice. What's it called?"

"Viens a moi," replies Nancy.

"Viens a moi? What the heck does that mean?"

At this stage the store clerk offers some help. "Viens a moi, ladies, means 'come to me' in French."

Nancy takes another sniff, then offers her arm to Kathy again and remarks, "That doesn't smell like cum to me. Does that smell like cum to you?"

 

You think that's funny, Lick My Balls? You don't even have balls enough to say "motherfucker."

 

LMAO!

OK, not funny enough? This one's ****in hilarious...

=========

A man and a woman are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the woman gets out, picks it up, and brings it into the car.

She says, "Look, its shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?"

He says, "Put it between your legs."

She says, "What about the smell?"

He says, "Hold its nose."

 

Most of my A-material can't be shared beyond the Back Lot. . .

So, a woman was taking a long train ride. She knew she was going to get hungry, so she packed along some fried chicken, and put it in a zip-up bag. Every now and again, she'd wake from taking a nap, unzip the bag, and grab herself a piece of chicken.

She did this off and on overnight for about 6 hours. . . wake up, feel around for the bag, unzip it, grab a piece of chicken. . .

6 hours in, the train stops, and a gentleman starting his early commute the rest of the way sits down next to her. She was still sleeping, so he just quietly moved the bag.

She wakes up halfway, reaches down, unzips. . . and then says, "I know I brought more than a neck and two gizzards!"

 

A husband and wife were watching a National Geographic special on a tribe in Africa. The natives had a practice of tying large heavy rocks to the ends of their cocks to make them as much as 18 inches in length.

The woman told her husband “It would be great if you would do that!”

So, he reluctantly agreed and for 2 weeks while at home constantly had a heavy weight attached to the end of his cock…

At the end of the two weeks, the wife asked her husband “How’s the project coming along?”

Husband says “Well, we’re half way there…”

She said “Oh my God! It’s 9 inches long now??!!!”

Husband says “No, but it did turn black…”

LMFAO

 

:detectadisturbanceinthistread:

please don't @ anyone in here


just choose to or not its simple math