Mouth-breathers = teh sexeh

 

I'll weigh in on this since I, too, am in a rut on the subject:

Looks ARE important, but I don't "want" a supermodel. I have always been more attracted to the girl next door type. Someone who is pretty while not trying to be pretty.

Sense of humor (and a bit of a thick skin) is important, because I like to laugh and I'm very sarcastic. Sarcasm takes a toll on a less secure person and I don't want to expend my emotional energy trying to censor myself every day.

Brains are key. I want a smart girl who is willing to debate her thoughts. I want someone who can be taught by me...and teach me. I want a girl that has the courage to stand up for what she believes in.

I want a REAL girl. Granted, we're all susceptible to the magazine ads of the hot chick (or guy or whatever your thing is) and we drool or go ga-ga over them. However, that's vastly different than who we find ourselves sitting or standing next to at the coffee shop or party or bar. I want someone I can talk to...relate to...that I can make laugh and who can make me laugh.

When we dig past the superficial stuff that we can list in a forum like this, I also want someone for the long-term that will stand by me when I'm struggling...stay committed...and KNOW that I will do the same for them...

 

I'll say it now - I've had two relationships go tits-up when the other party realized I held all the cards, and could walk away at any time (even though I didn't). They wanted something on me. . . why not just stick around?

 

I've had several relationships go tits-up when the girl realized that she could play on my sense of commitment and obligation...without having to remain committed or obligated to me...

 

To answer YOUR question...in my experience, people have a hard time with trust. The girls in your life may HOPE you do right by them, but they don't TRUST that enough to stick around without having leverage to ensure that you do the right thing.

This is why trust is so absolutely vital in a relationship...

 

 

 

868!!!

 

That is key I think. The easiest thing to do is walk away (even though of course it's never "easy"). That doesn't mean you should stay together for 40 years just for the sake of staying together, but at the same time, I think there are some predictable, crucial stages in relationships - that's when people meet their biggest challenges and unfortunately many people choose not to rise to the challenge for various reasons.