your trippin

what meds are you on?

 

Had a girlfriend for two years



Not on any meds...

 

I've taken Zoloft for anxiety/depression before. That stuff was a trip, made me exhausted and crappy.

 

[QUOTE=kumainu,Oct 2 2007, 02:17 PM]I've taken Zoloft for anxiety/depression before.

 

so, do you ever drop the top in the S?

 

All the time. My S2000 is different, because I bought that car for ME, not for anyone else. Cars are my life, cars and music. I don't care if anyone likes my car or not. I have a friend who loves being in my car 'cause its a chick magnet (especially on campus), but after 2 years of ownership there have only been like 2 or 3 girls to ever sit in my car. One was my girlfriend.

 

That's pretty gross!

Crappy, as in shitty, not feeling good.

 

I'm training myself away from constantly looking at the ground when I walk. I pay attention to every step I take and whether or not I'm stepping on a crack. Anybody else have "games" they play? When I'm a passenger in a car I blink every time a telephone pole passes the edge of the A-frame.

 

I have a gay friend that was maried for 7 years, what's your point?

 

Its not the weed. The weed is actually helping. What it is doing is sedating his mind so that it doesn't jump around creating multiple scenarios. I know...... same deal here.

You have A.D.D. also..... whether you know it or not. These rituals of yours are ticks... a product of your O.C.D... whether you acknowledge you have THAT too or not. Regardless.... this is what is shaking down...

Your A.D.D. is causing your mind to race around. Instead of being able to relax and focus, you cant. You think of multiple scenarios of just about everything.. which leads to anxiety.. you are constantly worrying. You try to bring order to the chaos with the O.C.D... which. like a snow ball effect will continue to get worse a the same rate everything else does. Turning off lights in order, blinking when poles pass... doing repetitive things takes away the 'what if" scenarios and gives you a small bit of comfort which is why you stick to them religiously.


I am going through the same thing. I hate large crowds and will avoid them at all cost, I mostly can't focus on ANYTHING so I jump around in my mind constantly from one thing to the next. I have rituals too which many people find funny but I have to do them.

What your mind is striving to do is just calm down. I started taking Xanax from an undesclosed source after having a stint with Paxil (aweful), Zoloft (aweful) and Stratera (= to a placibo IMO). The only things I found that worked for me was weed or Xanax. Once i started taking the Xanax I didn't feel like I need to smoke to relax, and after about a week.... i was a whole new person. I didnt actually smoke for many months and I felt exactly how I wanted to feel.... I felt normal. No anxiety, no worrying, no stepping over cracks or dividing my food.. it was all one. Public places, lots of people?.. no problem.

But.. after a while i began to notice that if I didn't take it for about 2 days I would get sick. I had become addicted to it. I quit taking it after a year.. took me a week and a half to get over it and man did it suck. See, Xanax (and week) acts like a tranquilizer... it slows brain function which is exactly what we need, but once that sedative is no longer present you go through a period of rebounding.... where you mind goes from running at 100 mph before, 65mph on the drug, to 160 mph. I couldn't pay attention to anything for more than 2 minutes.. and that went on for a couple of days.

That was 8 months ago, and after going through all of that I now have a better understanding of what is going on I didn't have before. I am back to weed again... I have a prick of a doctor that would rather me take drugs that they get those deals on that what I actualy need. But, atleast I know what is going on and what it takes to make me feel like a normal person 24/7.

I am pretty good about hiding it. the stepping over corners, ect. But in my mind it is constantly stressful all of the time. Do I have an answer... not really... wish I did. But I know what you are going through and it sucks. But I do know that it can be changed.... and completely taken away. Counceling..... worthless. This is a brain issue... the synapsis are firing off like crazy. The way to fix it is to slow them down.