If Chuck Norris made the calendar every month would be Chucktober and every day he'd be kicking your ass.

 

Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.

 

only chuck norris can clog a toilet with his piss

 

[QUOTE=yarbrough,Apr 24 2008, 05:10 PM]Go search: "Find Chuck Norris" on google.

 

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect 4 in 3 moves


Chuck norris does not break up with his girlfriends, he punches them in the vagina and they leave.


Chuck Norris can run around the earth and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.


Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

 

Keep an eye on his mouth. Must be an aggressive thumbs up, it twists his mouth.

 

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

Fact: Chuck Norris' home is furnished entirely with Total Gyms.

 

I call BS.

Chuck Norris does not fall out of a boat or anything.

 

∙ Al Gore takes credit for the internet but it's really information passed along the high-speed roundhouse kicks from Chuck Norris.

∙ Rumor has it that Judo & TKD will be removed from all future Olympics because Chuck Norris has already killed all future competitors. Even the unborn.