Wayne

that was even worse that the "Benny" joke

 

I try

 

here is the king of lame jokes



What is the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
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ANSWER:
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To cover cows! hahahaha... that was too dumb!

 

Not if Rick has his way!

 

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?

'Cause it was dead.

 

Two ladies sitting in the park on a bench when a flasher walks up and exposes himself.

One of the ladies has a stroke, and the other couldn't reach hers.

 

Well, I know a bunch, but here's two of my faves. One crass, the other not.

*******

Guy walks into the doctor with a problem.
"Doc," says he, "my erection won't go away! Been there for days!"

Old Doc looks at the man inquisitively and says, "Take your pants down, please."

After a thorough inspection, Doc finds a bug attached to the man's member. He taps it with a set of tweezers, and the bug jumps off. Instantly, the erection.... ehm.... deflates.

"Thank you!" the man says, relieved. "What do I owe you?"

Doc replies with a snicker, "If I find that bug, you don't owe me sh*t."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three chaps walk into a bar. One, Mike, is the CEO of Budweiser.
The next, Sam, is the CEO of Coors. The last, Patty, is the CEO of Guinness, visiting the States on business.

They sit down and the barkeep asks what their poison is.
Mike says, "Toss me a Bud!" And so the barkeep does.
Sam sneers a bit and says, "Bah, hand me a Coors!" The barkeep smiles and does just that.

"And you?" the barkeep asks of Patty.
"Get me a water please, laddy," says Patty.

Mike and Sam glare at him, perplexed. Patty lets out a hearty Irish laugh and says, "If you boys aren't orderin' beer, neither am I!"

 

There was a man who went to consult the doctor.He told the doctor that there was a strange red ring around his d**k .The doctor gave him a pink pill and told him to come back in three days.

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Three days have pasted and the man came back to the doctor and said that it did'nt go away so the doctor gave him a bigger pink pills and told him to come back in three days

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Three days have pasted and the man came back and told the doc it still has'nt gone so the doc gave him some clear liquid and told the man to wash his d**k with it and come back the next day

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The man came back and said "Thanks Doc its gone but what was the liquid ? " and the doc replyed and said "it was lip stick remover !"

 

A man walks into a bar...





Ouch.

 

Two men walk in to a bar, the third one ducks.