"Maroon car my ass, that mother f'krs red!"
--Used Cars

"We could of had something special, but you're one crazy bitch"
--Rush Hour 2

"What they can do to make it easier is to combine the obituaries with the real estate section. Say, then you'd have Mr. Klein died today leaving a wife, two children, and a spacious three bedroom apartment with a wood burning fireplace. "
--When Harry Met Sally

Clarice: "If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir?
Lecter: "Who can say? Best thing for him, really. His therapy was going nowhere."
--Silence of the Lambs

 

Office space

"You see bob, it's not that I'm lazy - It's that I just don't care."



"Yeah...I don't like My job...and I don't think I'm going to go anymore."
"You're just not going to go?"
"yeah..."
"won't you get fired?"
"I don't know...But I really don't like it."
"So, are you going to quit?"
"No, I'm just not going to go anymore...."
"Are you looking for another job?"
"you know, I don't think I'd like another job."
"what about bills? How are you going to get money?"
"I never really liked paying bills much either, I don't think I'm going to do that either."
*blank stare*

best movie...

Quick2K

 

"What's that?"
"It's a shotgun."
"that's a f^cking anti-aircraft cannon!"

"Your gun says 'Replica,' whereas mine says "Desert Eagle, point Five-Oh." which should precipitate the shrinking of your balls...as well as your presence."

*crash*
"Tyrone!"
"What? I didn't see it!"
"Tyrone, It's behind you. when you reverse, things tend to come from behind you."

 

" hey george, what's wrong?"
"Stanley, you don't want to know."
"Whoa....why did i ask?"
*scratches head*

-UHF

 

more office space:

"Hey what would you do if you had a million bucks?"
"If I had a million bucks? I'll tell you what I'd do. Two chicks at the same time."
"That's what you'd do? with a million bucks?"
"yep. Chicks dig dudes with money. If I had a million bucks I figure I could hook that up too."
"well, not all girls..."
"The kind of girls that would double up on a dude like me do."
"good point."
"what about you, man, what would you do?"
"if i had a million bucks, I would do nothing. I would sit on my ass, all day...I would do nothing."
"Well hey man, you don't need a million bucks to do nothing. just look at my cousin; he's broke, don't do shit."

 

Holy jumped a bald headed Jesus!
(Gary Busey - Silver Bullet)

A 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest.
( ? - Vertical Limit)

 

"Never, never interrupt me, okay? Not if there's a fire, not even if you hear the sound of a thud from my home and one week later there's a smell coming from there that can only be a decaying human body and you have to hold a hanky to your face because the stench is so thick that you think you're going to faint. Even then, don't come knocking. Or, if it's election night, and you're excited and you wanna celebrate because some fudgepacker that you date has been elected the first queer president of the United States and he's going to have you down to Camp David, and you want someone to share the moment with. Even then, don't knock."

As Good As It Gets

 

You are a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater."

Austin Powers in Goldmember

 

"In my foster house, we were so poor, we used to lick stamps for dinner."

Bad company

 

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."

Blazing Saddles