South Park (I'm killing this one)

"I'm sorry Wendy, I just don't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die."
(talking about her mother)


Happy Gilmore

"You know, I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast."
"You eat shit for breakfast?"
"no.."


Tommy Boy

"Richard, does this tie make me look fat?"
"No, your face does."

"Richard, do I have a mark on my face? It really hurts.."
"Nope, nothing there"
(waitress comes to the table)
"Jesus, what happened to your face?"
"I knew it."

"You kids better hope that this wind doesn't pick up, because I'll come over there, and stick an oar up your ass."

 

Ok Ok. Since it's the rough stuff you all want. Jack Nicholson:

Waitress: "You want me to hold the chicken?"

Jack: "I want you to hold the chicken between your knees!"

 

You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!

Hello? ... Ah...I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little? ... Oh-ho, that's much better...yeah...huh...yes. ... Fine, I can hear you now Dmitri. ... Clear and plain and coming throug fine. ... Good. ... Well, it's good that you're fine and...and I'm fine. ... I agree with you, it's great to be fine. ... A-ha-ha-ha-ha. ... Now then, Dmitri, you know how we've always talked about the possibility of something going wrong with the bomb. ... The BOMB, Dmitri. ... The HYDROGEN bomb! ... Well, now, what happened is...ah...one of our base commanders, he had a sort of...well, he went a little funny in the head. You know...just a little...funny and, ah...he went and did a silly thing. ... Well, I'll tell you what he did. He ordered his planes...to attack you country. ... Ah...well, let me finish, Dmitri. ... Let me finish, Dmitri. ... Well, listen, how do you think I feel about it?!? ... Can you IMAGINE how I feel about it, Dmitri? ... Why do you think I'm calling you? Just to say 'Hello'? ... OF COURSE I like to speak to you! OF COURSE I like to say 'Hello'! ... Not now, but anytime, Dmitri. I'm just calling up to tell you something terrible has happened. ... It's a FRIENDLY call. Of course it's a friendly call. ... Listen, if it wasn't friendly...you probably wouldn't have even got it. ... They will NOT reach their targets for at least another hour. ... I am...I am positive, Dmitri. ... Listen, I've been over all this with your ambassador. It is not a trick. ... Well, I'll tell you. We'd like to give your air staff a complete run down on the targets, the flight plans, and the defensive systems of the planes. ... Yes! I mean i-i-i-if we're unable to recall the planes, then...I'd say that, ah...well, ah...we're just gonna have to help you destroy them, Dmitri. ... I know they're our boys. ... Alright, well, listen now. Who should we call? ... WHO should we call, Dmitri? The...wha-whe...the people...you, sorry, you faded away there. ... The People's Central Air Defense Headquarters. ... Where is that, Dmitri? ... In Omsk. ... Right. ... Yes. ... Oh, you'll call them first, will you? ... Uh-huh. ... Listen, do you happen to have the phone number on you, Dmitri? ... Whe-ah, what? ... I see. Just ask for Omsk information. ... Ah-ah-eh-um-hm...I'm sorry to, Dmitri. ... I'm very sorry. ... ALRIGHT, you're sorrier than I am, but I am sorry as well. ... I am as sorry as you are, Dmitri! Don't say that you're more sorry than I am, because I'm capable of being just as sorry as you are. ... So we're both sorry, alright? ... Alright.

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb - 1964

 

" Who's the U-Boat Commander ? " ...Risky Business

 

American Pie 2
Sherman- "I'm a sophisticated sex machine sent back in time to please one lucky lady."

Nadia- "Am i....that lucky lady?"

Sherman- "Yes Nadia, you've been locked and targeted for Shermanation."

 

"The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here! I am someone!" "The Jerk"

 

Theoldman
"You can't fight in here, this is a war room.
That is a great flick! Slim Pickens riding that bomb down! I think its gonna be on tv soon on Turner Classic Movies.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by jrfblueeyes
Theoldman
"You can't fight in here, this is a war room.

 

"This is bad, sir"

"no, this is beyond bad. This is a class 1, a+, top level up!!"

-Roujin Z (anime)


Jessica Rabbit: "I'm not bad... I'm just drawn that way"

-Who framed Roger Rabbit?


Scarecrow: "I haven't got a brain... only straw."

Dorothy: "How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?"

Scarecrow: "I don't know... But some people without brains do an
awful lot of talking... don't they?"

Dorothy: "Yes, I guess you're right."

-Wizard of Oz


"HOLY TESTICLE TUESDAY!"

-Ace Ventura


"Your request is not unlike your lower intestine. Stinky and full of danger."

-Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls


"Our Lady of Blessed Acceleration, don't fail us now!"

-Blues Brothers


"Be seated! Ah... Many of you are wondering what's wrong with my pants, well they started running short on materials right before they got to the knees so don't give me any sh*t. Ah. I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself, "What I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger... and a woman." You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life"

-Hot Shots

 

Fenderbaum: We got a secret weapon. God is our co-pilot!
Blake: God is our co-pilot? Remember our car?
Fenderbaum: Yeah?
Blake: Two seats!
Fenderbaum: Two seats...?
Blake: Where's he gonna sit? Where?

Brock Yates: You boys gonna start this thing or just sit there and wait for that paint to dry?
Mel Tillis: Yes,sir.(to Terry Bradshaw)How long until we stop? Terry: Eight hours.
Mel: Damn,I gotta go to the john!

Freeze! Or name your beneficiary!

The Cannonball Run - 1981