Don't marry someone you are "in love" with today, marry someone you can tolerate being around in 10 years.

 

If marriage isn't based on religion (basically when you get married because you think its the thing to do in YOUR religion, then why get married at all??? What does it really say about you, does it change things? I dont think so.

You can say it shows commitment, but if you were dating for 5+ years or whatever and you didn't cheat on eachother, isn't that showing committment also.

 

For many people (myself included) formal rituals like marriage are important to people. When my husband and I exchanged vows, we made no mention of God, but for us it was a way to formalize and express our committment with the people who are closest to us. Oh and to celebrate too

On the other hand, my aunt and uncle have been together 15 years, have 2 kids together and were never married. Different strokes for different folks.

 

the original post was meant to bring up discussion on the stated proposals.

i get that lots of people say their happy and love their SO and they are each other's best friend, etc. but the fact is that people get tired of each other from constant exposure. even the best of friends can chaf a little.

so do u see something wrong with trying to spend time apart so you can appreciate each other more so than you would otherwise?

 

Hmmm... I'm gonna be working with my wife in the future. That's gonna be overexposure eh?

 

I'm easily distracted.


Personally I think people having their own personal time apart is crucial to a successful marriage. This could be for reasons other than appreciating them more. Like personal growth and maintaining a sense of individual identity. Interdependence > dependence.

 

[QUOTE=Vadster,Feb 16 2007, 09:15 AM]why would you want to share the rest of your life with someone who you don't like hanging out with?

 

I'm no expert but I believe if you meet the right person, you will never get "tired" of your spouse. Doesn't mean you'll have occational disagreement or even a "fight," but deep down you'll just know that your spouse is just meant to be with you. Conversely, if you start to feel that you are getting "tired" of your potential spouse's "constant exposure," then that's when you know it's not going to work out.

 

do each of you know someone that you simply cannot tire of them? this isn't to say that you're at each other's throats, but that the experience diminishes compared to if you spend some time apart.

in any case, hope it work out for you. but seriously, do u really sleep better with someone next to you?

 

Ok, you need to explain what you mean by "diminish", "experience" and "tired." In any case, I know this (from observing people that I know well), if you are looking for that imaginary (IMO) relationship, in which you can expect everyday is going to be like the "first date" or the "first night" you made love to her/him, you are going to be by yourself for a long time. Of couse, you can always feck the "lasting" relationships and start hopping from one "partner" to the next for the rest of your life until you start to loose hair and accumulate more wrinkles than the raisins in your cereal bowl.