new ideas for marriage
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From: Long Beach, CA
Originally Posted by NFRs2000NYC,Feb 16 2007, 04:35 AM
Only in America. Americans, in terms of marriage, for lack of a better term, are usually clueless. They get married....
1)Too young
2)Too fast
3)For fun
4)Spur of the moment
5)Divorce is normal here
6)Its not valued here.
etc etc...I can go on all day.
Your version literally, makes marriage, just a legal piece of paper.
1)Too young
2)Too fast
3)For fun
4)Spur of the moment
5)Divorce is normal here
6)Its not valued here.
etc etc...I can go on all day.
Your version literally, makes marriage, just a legal piece of paper.
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From: Eugene, OR
Originally Posted by dyhppy,Feb 16 2007, 01:22 AM
first off, i've never been married so im no authority.
with the divorce rate being so high (and even higher in california), drastic measures seem to be needed. through some readings and research, it appears that married people dont enjoy being around each other much. that goes for sharing a bed, bathroom and in one unique case, an apt. there was a couple in new york who lived next door to each other in separate apts and they LOVED it AND their married friends were jealous. the women were like "you mean you dont have to see his gross hair all over the floor!" etc.
so what if a happy couple early on decided to take measures not to encroach on each other's space and get on their respective nerves:
separate beds, bathrooms, and if they can afford it, dont live together.
go so far as to spend lots of time away from each other acting like individuals and making the heart grow fonder.
in addition, encourage talk about attractive people each notices so as to not begin to hide things from each other.
i know it doesn't sound like the fairy tale you grew up with, but...
thoughts?
with the divorce rate being so high (and even higher in california), drastic measures seem to be needed. through some readings and research, it appears that married people dont enjoy being around each other much. that goes for sharing a bed, bathroom and in one unique case, an apt. there was a couple in new york who lived next door to each other in separate apts and they LOVED it AND their married friends were jealous. the women were like "you mean you dont have to see his gross hair all over the floor!" etc.
so what if a happy couple early on decided to take measures not to encroach on each other's space and get on their respective nerves:
separate beds, bathrooms, and if they can afford it, dont live together.
go so far as to spend lots of time away from each other acting like individuals and making the heart grow fonder.
in addition, encourage talk about attractive people each notices so as to not begin to hide things from each other.
i know it doesn't sound like the fairy tale you grew up with, but...
thoughts?
my take on the reason why the divorce rate is so high in this world is because people are too selfish & impatient. they want everything sterile and neat, nothing messy. (i mean that both literally and metaphorically.) and they don't want to put the time/effort/thought into a long engagement and making sure they're marrying the right person; and then from there they don't want to put the time/effort into working things out and compromising with the person they supposedly love when things get rough.
i see so many people my age getting married and i honestly don't think they COMPREHEND how serious a commitment marriage is. they literally seem like they're getting married for shits and giggles so they can get all spiffed up in suits and big white dresses, get wasted and have a DJ, and so they can post all the pictures on myspace. but maybe i'm just being naive and that whole "serious commitment" thing is just an idealistic crock of crap nowadays. shit... i need some new pictures on myspace. maybe i should get married next weekend?
some girl my little sister knows got married last summer. (18 years old...) less than 3 months later my sister saw her drunk at a party and asked her how things were going. the girl replied by telling her never to get married because it was a living nightmare. 3 MONTHS LATER.
here's a new idea for marriage: how about people only get married when they meet someone they ABSOLUTELY SURE, WITHOUT A DOUBT want to spend the rest of their life with and are READY to be married? that means that if you can't handle having their hair in your shower drain, or the way they snore, or the way they leave their wet towels on the floor, or the way they drink milk straight from the carton... you should probably not marry them.
what do i know though? i'm only 20 and i've never been married, nor do i plan to even think about it for another 4-5 years.
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Originally Posted by C_Unit,Feb 19 2007, 06:17 PM
i see so many people my age getting married and i honestly don't think they COMPREHEND how serious a commitment marriage is. they literally seem like they're getting married for shits and giggles so they can get all spiffed up in suits and big white dresses, get wasted and have a DJ, and so they can post all the pictures on myspace. but maybe i'm just being naive and that whole "serious commitment" thing is just an idealistic crock of crap nowadays. shit... i need some new pictures on myspace. maybe i should get married next weekend?
)
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From: Eugene, OR
Originally Posted by gosixers215,Feb 19 2007, 03:24 PM
That reminds me of that MTV show "Engaged and Underage". Pretty amusing stuff (or so I've heard. Not that I watch MTV anymore )
)
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From: Santa Monica-SoCal
cunit, i get where ur coming from. when i was getting out of college i remember people getting married and im like wtf and they're like, uh, whatever, why not?
although, i think u missed my point or i didn't communicate it well. i never said to not live with each other cuz u can't stand them. just cuz u love someone doesn't mean that they cant get on ur nerves or that it magically helps you sleep when they are sawing through major wood
im talking about people who love each other and can tolerate each other, but do what they can to make things easier on each other by avoiding the little things that can build up, get on nerves and become a blow up. in addition, it is a well known phenomenon that the more exposure u have to someone or thing, the less it is valued. love doesn't change that. in fact, it can make love go away. haven't u ever been around someone and felt like u should appreciate them more than u do, but u just dont feel it? i think every married person qualifies in this field. so, point being, allow for time apart, so that we can properly value the other in the way they deserve. it's about thinking ahead.
although, i think u missed my point or i didn't communicate it well. i never said to not live with each other cuz u can't stand them. just cuz u love someone doesn't mean that they cant get on ur nerves or that it magically helps you sleep when they are sawing through major wood
im talking about people who love each other and can tolerate each other, but do what they can to make things easier on each other by avoiding the little things that can build up, get on nerves and become a blow up. in addition, it is a well known phenomenon that the more exposure u have to someone or thing, the less it is valued. love doesn't change that. in fact, it can make love go away. haven't u ever been around someone and felt like u should appreciate them more than u do, but u just dont feel it? i think every married person qualifies in this field. so, point being, allow for time apart, so that we can properly value the other in the way they deserve. it's about thinking ahead.
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From: Santa Monica-SoCal
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From: SJC
Originally Posted by dyhppy,Mar 8 2007, 12:10 PM
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/...15-000005.html
Each partner should strive to be a whole, healthy individual who can make positive contributions to the marriage. And space, says Allen, 'encourages the solid, cohesive sense of self in each person.'"
Each partner should strive to be a whole, healthy individual who can make positive contributions to the marriage. And space, says Allen, 'encourages the solid, cohesive sense of self in each person.'"
How does one make positive contributions to society, let alone to the ones they love if they haven't a damn clue as to how?