[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ubetit
[B]Your current girlfriend doesn't trust YOU.

 

There is alot of good advice here and I will add my .02

in my 37 years of life one lesson I have learned is that if you are totally innocent with the best of intentions and your partner has trust issues with you, It is themselves that they cannot trust!
Think about it!
If they know they are capable of being unfaithful how can they expect you to be!
That may seem harsh but it happened to me! Life is short and it sounds like your friendship means alot to you....

 

No offense, but "innocence" on one end does not mean innocence on the other end. As far as I'm concerned, the gf has a right to be, at the least, slightly suspicious (of the other girl, if not of her bf) and therefore does have a right to expect the guy to at least consider her wishes, or comprimise in some way to help her in the situation.

My wife has pointed out girls that were flirting with me that I never even realized were flirting with me - I just thought they were being "normal". Call me stupid, but I say I'm innocent - it doesn't make it right for me to now go hang out with those girls, does it? A guarantee of fidelity on one end isn't good enough - if the person your bf/gf is hanging out with has no fidelity or respect (or not enough), the fidelity of your bf/gf is really a moot point.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head with this one. I'm starting to wonder what she has to hide. She may have had a straying boyfriend before but I'd put my money on it being her.

 

I think my gf must have had a previous boyfriend that double-crossed her with something like this in the past, I can't see why she would be so reactive otherwise. But her past shmucks for boyfriends are not my concern at this point. She needs to find the capacity to trust me, I have never given her any reason to think I would stray, and indeed I would not. As another female friend of mine pointed out, when you date someone, you accept the whole package that person brings to the table: Family, friends, etc. How would I feel if I did sacrifice my old friend and then broke up with my gf for some other reason later on? Then I'd have lost two close friends.

I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet, I think she and I can work this out, but only if she backs off from her intolerance.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by djohnston
[B] The older friend has always been there for me, and I for her.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by djohnston
[B] As another female friend of mine pointed out, when you date someone, you accept the whole package that person brings to the table: Family, friends, etc.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by djohnston
[B]I think my gf must have had a previous boyfriend that double-crossed her with something like this in the past, I can't see why she would be so reactive otherwise.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by JonBoy
[B]

I'm married and my wife trusts me explicitly, but that doesn't mean she lets me do whatever I want.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by RiceBurnerTX
[B]Well, while I agree that trust is very important, is there anything that you are leaving out that might make her a little untrusting of you or the other friend.