It splashs onto the bottom of the seat and leaves stains. But yeah most of the stains are in the bowl

 

Classic!

 

I'm a quick dumper:

Drop trou
Sit
Ptthhhhpt

as about as fast as you read this.

Wiping takes five minutes or more since I'm rather hairy 'round the sphincter.

 

Once a day, every morning after a cup o' Joe, like clockwork.

Public restrooms only in an emergency. I hate the toilets with automatic flushers triggered by motion sensors. Who the hell invented those things? Did they ever actually use them? Every time you lean over to wipe the damn thing flushes!

 

i heard that your rate of nervousness plays a big role in defecating. nervous people (or people who have a lot of shit [no pun intended] on their mind) tend to go more often than people who don't care.

 

I may have all you guys beat...once a day...30 seconds tops..plus 20-30 sec more for wiping. The key I have found is Charmin "aloe-wipes".

My wife thinks the towlettes are disgusting. So I spend a few bucks extra at the grocery store for a good clean wipe??? Geez.

I share a bathroom with only a couple buddies at work so I keep a dispenser there too.

Good topic...

 

I don't know how the heck you guys can do #2 in under a minute. I find a good shit to be so relaxing. add a good book, maybe light a scented candle and have the overhead fan on... it's the closest I come to a form of meditation.

 

The key is when you do it. There's no real secret to crapping quickly:

I tend to wait until I'm farting every 10 seconds and have a turtle head poking out. By that time, the body is expel the poo at great force.

 

"a turtle head poking out"

JEZUS CHRIST BWWAAHAAAAAHAHAA!!! classic.

 

Or prairie doggin'