Things I have learned since I have been married.
Registered User
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 1,985
Likes: 0
From: Northshore
What's hers is hers and what's mine is hers.
Shoes are an expression of life.. not something to keep your feet from hitting the ground.
Anything stupid I have done in the past will be used against me during an argument untill death do us part.
Shoes are an expression of life.. not something to keep your feet from hitting the ground.
Anything stupid I have done in the past will be used against me during an argument untill death do us part.
Former Moderator
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 59,195
Likes: 1
From: Ventura, California, USA
Rules For Women
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules
> from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all
> numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about
> you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
> can find the perfect present yet again!
>
> 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>
> 1. Sunday = racing,football,baseball,wrestling,ect. It's like the full
> moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
> not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
>
> 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
> 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
> be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
> dress?
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> 1. Check your oil! Please.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> answer.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>
> 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
> we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
> idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
> you don't want to hear.
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster
> trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or
> some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying
> anyway.)
>
> 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
> No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>
> 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping..
>>>
>
>
>
> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules
> from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all
> numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>
> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
> down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about
> you leaving it down.
>
> 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we
> can find the perfect present yet again!
>
> 1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
>
> 1. Sunday = racing,football,baseball,wrestling,ect. It's like the full
> moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
>
> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
> that way.
>
> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>
> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
> not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
>
> 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
> calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
> 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd
> be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your
> dress?
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
>
> 1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
> 1. Check your oil! Please.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
> all comments become null and void after 7 days.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to
> answer.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
> makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
> 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
> Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
>
> 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months
> we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
> for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no
> idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
> ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
> hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
> you don't want to hear.
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
> Really.
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
> discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster
> trucks.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or
> some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying
> anyway.)
>
> 1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together.
> No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
>
> 1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
> tonight, but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping..
>>>
>
>
