As my dad said, "If it's free, take it. You can probably find a way to use it and if not, you can always give it to someone else."

 

"I'm too shallow for deep thoughts."


Scooterboy

 

"For god sakes, get off your dead butt and get a job."


Scooterman (Dad)

 

My dad told me this one...supposedly on a tombstone in SC:

Where you stand
Once stood I
Where I am
You too will lie
Where you are
I'd rather be
But you will surely
Follow me

To which someone cheekily added:

To follow you
's not my intent
Until I know
Which way you went!!

 

The most common phrase to precede a disaster is probably "Hey, watch this!"

 

I always thought it was "Hey hold my beer a minute. Watch this."

 

You both got it wrong...

"Hey Bubba - hold my beer fer a minute and watch this"

 

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

- Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Old classic: "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy."

JonasM

 

A woman is a woman, but a cigar is a smoke!