Granted. In the throes of mercy, you join the priesthood, and suddenly realize prison time may not have been so bad on me.

I wish for Karma to simply be :accordingly:

 

granted. it is and :accordingly: you are surrounded by people who all day but yet you find that you can not.


I wish my karma didn't run over my dogma.

 

Granted. Dogmatic law rules your life and you go to hell for being a


I wish I had another sausage biscuit for breakfast.

 

Granted, but this sausage isn't the kind you asked for

I wish for all the retards who caused this financial situation to pay for the repairs instead of the average dirt poor american

 

Granted. Half the retards that caused this problem are the people who couldn't afford what they wanted to buy in the first place but felt they 'deserved' it and bought it anyway. Now they can't pay for it and they all file for bankruptcy causing the system to collapse. You have to sell your S for 1/100th what it's worth to pay for your new-found meth addiction that was brought on by your need to cope with the implosion of society. While on a meth high you are ass raped by a gang of bikers and become their new bitch-mascot (kind of like that freaky boy-toy guy that gets killed in the head in "the Road Warrior"). You spend the rest of your days wearing assless chaps and riding around on the back of a bikers hog. Pun intended.


I wish that the water table rose just high enough to make the creek behind my house boatable, making my place a 'waterfront property'.

 

Granted, but then the land behind your house erodes and your house falls into the creek.


I wish everything was hunkydory.

 

Granted. Everything is hunkydory... for Al Queda.


I wish I was a hammer, not a nail.

 

Granted, you are now in an all mail prison. You also get to be a suction cup.


I wish to receive all 700 billion dollars from the bailout.

 

Granted


Granted. You receive it, spend it and fail to set aside the $210 billion for income tax. Your tax deliquincy relegates you to being owned by the government and you are forced to hand-wash Hillary's tighty-whities for the rest of your life as your repayment to society. Oh yeah, the goverment also seized everything you bought with the $700 billion.


I wish my PC at home had a cutting edge quad-core processor with a great gaming video card and 6g's of RAM.

 

Granted, but it comes with VISTA!!! HAHAHA!!!


best one yet

I wish to get to work on time today.