Granted. You die.


I wish I could become a professional boxer and win every match I'm ever involved in.

 

Granted, you then get caught fixing matches and killed by the mafia.



I wish INTJ would get laid so his mood would improve.

 

Granted. He has sex with you.


I wish I had a job.

 

granted, enjoy being in gay $$$$$$ films.


I wish my civic would sell...

 

Granted. You spend the $.92 you got from it's sale on a used wetnap to wipe the Man-glaze from your chin.


I wish that I will have a good game of golf this afternoon.

 

Granted. You score 2 holes-in-one, and set a course record. You take your scorecard to the clubhouse but on the way your golf cart goes crazy and drives into a pond. Your scorecard is now a mushy piece of pulp.



I wish to find extra space in my garage to put some sh*t away.

 

Granted. All your cars get demolished, your walls get torn down and all your junk in the garage gets moved to your living room.

I wish I could think of a better wish.

 

Granted, your IQ has tripled to 9, and much like the guy from "Wizard Of Oz", you wish for a brain, only to get DENIED.


I wish my wife all the happyness in the world.

 

Granted. She finds a better man.




I wish it was legal to smoke marijuana.

 

Granted. Instead of faking migraines, You now have quite real splitting migraines.

I wish to have a guacamole enema, administered by the king of guacamole enemas.