Granted. Unfortunately they missplaced the guac so they used wasabe instead.


I wish I owned the lot next door too.

 

Granted, but just like my guacamole enema, you're going to need to pay Raptor bud to clean it up. . . it'll be ready in 20 years.

I wish Pig****er would show up with my 7up.

 

Granted. He has 7up for your 8D. And you enjoy it.

I waish I had completed my required training earlier this year already.

 

Granted, you completed your training, but because you were gone so much, your girlfriend/wife started cheating on you with 8D. You now have more VD's than the entire meth community.

I wish for someone else to front this $700 billion instead of the american taxpayers.

 

Granted. Welcome to the People's Economic Community. Please report for re-education, hosted by professor 8D. Good luck with the VD. . . you might want to wear goggles too; he brought all the boys.

I wish Kristi would figure out where and when the hell she's gonna have lunch with me.

 

Granted. She figures out that you will be lunch and shoves a large stick in your behiney until it comes out of your mouth.

8d kabob's for everyone!


I wish dry skin didn't bother me.

 

Granted. It doesn't bother you because you're now self-medicating with heroin. As you come off a good bender, the dryness of your skin doesn't bother you, but the little bugs crawling under your skin drive you nuts.

I wish Raj understood I'm going out for Indian food shortly.

 

Granted, you have fresh muslim separatist in an excellent vindaloo, which gives nuclear eruptions out your colon all day.

I wish raj's skin condition gets professional treatment

 

Granted. He's now seeing a professional gambler, with a few mental "quirks." As he sits in his hole applying lotion, he skin feels a lot better. . . I won't speak to the rest of him. . .

I wish my meeting would get cancelled.

 

Granted, you are now banished to the mailroom, meetingless forever. And, since mail is so 19th century, you are forgotten along with muleskinners.

I wish that I had 3 more wishes.