Sometimes you just want to smoke a joint and eat an Arbeque.

 

Granted. You go back in time and discover that you are your own father....and mother.


I wish raj (you tardsicle) got with the program

 

Someone been reading "All you zombies"?

 

Granted. Now raj is the moderator and bans you for all your inconsequential commentary.






I wish I could make it with Julia from Eat Bulaga.

 

Granted, you "make it" with her... two days after her long awaited sex change.

Similarly, I wish I could "make it" with Hayley Williams of Paramore (got a thing for fiery redhead rocker chicks).

 

Granted, just after she dyes her hair squirrel brown and learns to play the cello.

I wish I was in my s2k right now.

 

Granted, and you wreck it while reading this response. You become hospitalized and they won't allow you to finish this post...




















and you have crashed. now you will never know that in the end, you were the ignorant one wanting to drive and type at the same time.

I wish for my family to be happy.

 

Granted. You are disowned and they are happy.




I wish I hadn't paid $30 to see Eddie Griffin do his so called stand-up comedy routine.

 

Granted, but you instead see Margaret Cho do stand up for 100 dollars and feel worse.

I wish to have more energy.

 

Granted, you now possess 50 kg of Uranium suitable for making nuclear energy. You are wanted by the FBI and the Dept. Homeland Security. They are on their way to arrest you, but you die from exposure to radiation. Why didn't you keep it in a lead container!?!?!



I wish I wasn't having trouble sleeping.