Based on my understanding of the culture - traditionally, he wouldn't. His parents would live there until they died, he would live there until he died, supported by his own kids who'd live there until they died, etc. There would be three, four, maybe even five generations living together in the same place.

You talk as if living with parents is a burden for the children - where traditionally it would be a liberation because the extended family would be around to raise the grandchildren, given the parents more freedom to go out, hold jobs, etc.

 

This is something that's hard for mee-guks (or any non-Asians) to understand. Some do, some don't. Traditionally, non-Asians leave home after school and rely on retirement plans and social security to take care of their parents. Because these programs didn't traditionally exist in Asia, it was the responsibility of the children (and especially the oldest male member of the family) to take care of their parents once they were capable.

 

My family is white, from the middle east, and my 53 year old father spends every weeknight at his parent's house because they're old and afraid of being alone. He doesn't really enjoy it, but what can he do?

 

base on these white folks with a few exceptions, abandone them till they die in their home. Then when their buried, they pretend to come visit with some flowers just once a yr to show HOW MUCH THEY CARE

 

LOL

As opposed to slant-eyes who, with few exceptions, stay at home with their parents because they're users and Momma's boys and overall failures so pathetic they are incapable of being self sufficient?

In traditional Anglo-American culture there is no reason to live in your parents home aside from being such a massive failure that you are incapable of providing for yourself either economically or emotionally and can only survive by continuing to be useless leeches on the good graces of clingy parents who are too weak minded to do the right thing for their kids and kick them out of the house. Living with your parents much passed the college years reflects poorly on both the parent and grown child. Traditional Anglo-American culture places tremendous value on independence and self-reliance, and living in your parents home proves that you are a deficient individual and reflects on your parents failure in allowing you to become such a failure.

Now, if you have parents who are unable to provide for their own care then their adult children do have a responsibility to help them. If it's for health reasons the parent will generally either move in to their child's household or have some form of assisted living arrangement. This only happens as a last resort due to the huge stigma attached to being dependent as opposed to self-reliant and independent. If its financial, then the children will typically chip in to supplement their parents income. This isn't desirable, but at least it allows the parents to maintain some degree of dignity by maintaining the appearance of independence.

That's a VERY traditional Anglo-American view, but regardless or ethnicity it tends to be partially adopted as generations go by. I doubt most in my generation of 20- or 30-somethings holds that strong a view, nor do my parents generation. It's still there, but in a much diminished capacity of what my grandparents generation believed. My grandmother ain't movin in with nobody. Getting her to give up driving and rely on family wasn't easy.

My generation is much more lax about this sort of thing, but it's still there nonetheless. Much of this is social and economic pressures. Back when the woman stayed home and raised the kids there wasn't much need to have older generations to help with the kids. Now, both parents generally have to work and having retired grandparents living with or near you is the only alternative to daycare. The same economic reality also makes it difficult for single young adults to be able to afford to live on their own. So more are either staying at home longer or living with roommates.

And that's part of why your girlfriend doesn't want to move in with your parents. The other part is she may be aware of the role she may be expected to play if she moves in. Which is Slave-Bitch. I had a friend in college who recently divorced her husband within months of being convinced to move in with his parents. That said, his parents were very traditional and were not at all happy with him marrying who he did. That didn't end well for anyone, except possibly the parents who now have one more thing to hold over the guy's head on why he should marry a Vietnamese girl next time. I had a g/f in high school who was Viet and I'm STILL scared of her parents =D

 

As a Cracker: I agree with you about taking care of your family, but I also agree about finding a balence. My wife and I both go out of our way to take care of our parents(mine are both ill/handicapped) but since we are both in the Army, we can't live with or near them all the time. I think that while there is a difference in culture, a lot of it is just personal pref....for example; my mom gave my sister everything that she could ever want, to include a 130k education that she doesn't even use, yet my sister resents her and rarely talks to her. I on the other hand paid my way through college, and have rarely asked my mother for much other than when my first wife wrecked my life and I feel as if I owe her the world.

I guess what I am trying to say is that you need to live your life the way that you want to, and if that involves taking care of your parents, so be it. If she can't cope with that, or for that matter your friends cannot, perhaps it is time to find a new girl and a new circle of friends. Family First man...

 

LOLZ this thread now at epic status. Awaiting digestion in the Back Lot

But I agree with wilhavens you need to find a valence... electron.

 

wait, you're a 27 year old asian with a white girl and you still live with your parents?
i understand the situation with your parents BUT there comes a time in every mans life when you have to leave the nest and start building your own
i know i live next door from my mom and dad, and my in-laws live down the street also, but at least i moved out and started my own family i'm only 25

 

you did the right thing <3

 

And you are...