"You couldn't find ugly at a Vassar mixer!" - CM Burns

Homer [in elephant costume]: "I am Ganesh! This wedding angers me!"
Homer [running away from angry crowd]: "Waugh! You're just gonna get more wrath!"
Apu's mom: "Ganesh has been subdued" [Homer in tree, children throwing stones and poking with stick]

Lisa: "Bart, this pot has been in the sink for days!"
Bart: "It's soaking."
Lisa: [looks at Bart thru pot bottom] "It's rusted through!"
Bart: "It's an illuuuuusion..."

 

last night they had the episode where homer buys the assassin sneakers

marge: i thought we were going to consult each other on major purchases?
homer: well you never consulted me when you bought all those smoke detectors.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by dsp
[B]"You couldn't find ugly at a Vassar mixer!" - CM Burns

Homer [in elephant costume]: "I am Ganesh! This wedding angers me!"
Homer [running away from angry crowd]: "Waugh! You're just gonna get more wrath!"
Apu's mom: "Ganesh has been subdued" [Homer in tree, children throwing stones and poking with stick]

You forgot the most important line. As the kids are poking him Homer says: "All will die" in a moaning voice. Classic!

Another quote:
Lisa: "Poor Maggy, how many insanity hearings have you been to in your short life?"

 

funniest thing my friend ever said to me about the simpsons.

isn't it funny and weird how milhouse looks like his parents and they look like each other.

the way he said made it seem like what a coincidence but he didn't mean it that way...all i could say was they're cartoons they can look however Matt Groening wants them too...just too funny.

 

The thing I find so fascinating about the Simpsons is that there's so many levels to it. There's plenty of plain ole' slapstick humor, then there's bizarre humor (Homer wiping fish sandwich on wall --> wall becomes transparent due to grease), then there's humorous references to movies and stuff, etc. etc. But there's also really subtle stuff that hardly anbody ever notices. For example, there's one scene (I think in the episode where Bart goes to live with Mr. Burns) where the "camera" pans across Burns' mansion, and briefly shows the roadsigns at the intersection of where he lives. The corner of Mammon and Croesus boulevards! Now *that's* an obscure reference...Mammon is a fallen angel from Milton's "Paradise Lost" who is obsessively greedy, and Croesus was a Greek monarch-type dude who was known for his great wealth. I happened to pick that one up b/c I'm a fan of Paradise Lost, but there's no telling how many other obscure references I miss!

 

there's the beef flavored chicken sign on the quik e mart

 

Mmmmmmmmm, sinuses full of beef..

 

Fat Bart idolizing fat Homer: "I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

Nelson (I think) talking about fat Homer: "I hear that guy's ass has it's own congressman."

Homer driving home from work singing to the Flintstones tune:
"Simpson
Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history
From the
Town of Springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree"
(Homer drives into chestnut tree)

Homer in kitchen after Marge has told him not to eat the pie she just made:
"OK pie, I'm just gonna go like this"
(Homer walks forward chomping with his eyes closed)
(Homer hits head on smoke vent above stove)
"D'oh! Ahh, what the hell"
(Homer eats pie)

Joe

 

Homer: (to aliens) Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids! Eat them!


Yes, I too am a big Simpsons fan... best show ever!

 

Homer - "Three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number one, Cover for me.
Number two, Oohh good idea boss.
Number three, It was like that when I got here."



Mr Burns - "By cutting off cable tv and the beer supply, I can insure an honest winters work out of those lowlifes"
Smithers - "Sir did you ever stop to think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?"
Mr Burns - "Hmm, perhaps. Tell you what, we come back and everyones slaughtered, I owe you a coke."