Granted, but the gummi bear fairy turns out to be Richard Simmons and he makes you do aerobics to work off all the weight you gain from the gummis.

I wish was American again.

 

Granted. but you are being followed by the fbi, cia, etc. because of your identity switching. THey think you are a double agent.


I wish I had a nice juicy steak to eat right now.

 

Granted - You are American again, and once again gain all the tell tail traits of an American - Arrogant, over weight, lazy, stick your nose in anyones biz, and could care less about anyone elses opinion 'cause your n'american! (God I love it )

I wish refer was legal.

 

Granted, only problem is - it is that exotic juicy steak made from the meat of a lion - and to add 'flavor and juice' it is drenched in lion urine. (yes this does exists)

I wish most music made post '79 did not suck balls so hard.

 

(I assume you meant "reefer"... ) Granted, but you buy some wet and get so high you claw your own eyes out.

I wish I could meet a beautiful woman who is interested in me regardless of what I do.

 

wow, thats the 3rd request for steak so far!

 

Granted, you meet a drop dead georgous psychologist who spends her days asking you questions about how you are not far off from being a gorilla while her boyfriend is so perfect. She is always interested in you because you are her thesis project.


I wish I could go and take a big dump right now.

 

Granted, but you pop a blood vessel trying to squeeze it out.

I wish I could take better pictures with my digital camera.

 

Wise-ass!

Granted:
You go to photography school and learn how to take kick-ass pictures. Unfortunately, you develop a hunger for 10 year old boys, start taking a little too many pictures of them, and get thrown in jail for being a pederass. Have fun with your new boyfriend Dirk! Suck to be you

I wish I owned a brewery

 

Erm, yeah forgot that 'e' in there....is 'wet' laced w/something? New term to me

To monkei -

Granted, your first day 'checking it out' you fall in and drown in a giant distilling container.

I wish Hendrix lived long enough to put out a few more albums. (And no, under any circumstances would they suck )