i think he means the wet poopoo that has not been wiped fromth the assholio.....

 

Thank you for the insightful clarification

 

 

I try my best to time my breathing to make the longest monkey tail possible. Then leave it for the next coworker to go in and admire my work. I don't flush.

 

Yeah. . . it really depends on my diet.

Now that I'm back on the cafeteria (we have a decent cafe at work) and not going out to a different ethnic food every day, I'm like clockwork, and my yield is copious, full, firm, and between 5-10 minutes.

However, when it was Pizza for dinner, Trucker's breakfast, and House Special Pho for lunch. . . look out!!!

 

it's best when it's dried up. easier to wipe off and takes less tissue paper. i'm pro conservation of natural resources...

 

taking so long in the crapper helps me avoid arguments and plus its its my relaxing time and also i can avoid phone calls

 

I held up the bathroom for about thirty minutes last week. I'd been on some pretty tough medications (ie, they caused major constipation) and I was having a TOUGH time of it.

Let me put it this way. While it was never in doubt, I now physically know that I would not enjoy the physical side of being gay. I still hurt from that episode - there's still an occasional twinge from my lower groin/stomach/intestine. I think I pulled something from straining so hard. I was literally crying, grunting, straining, and gritting my teeth at the same time.

It's funny when I tell people about it (well, my bro, dad, and best friend all died laughing) but it was probably the second worst moment of my life (first would be a having a cavity drilled without anaesthetics) in terms of pain and suffering.

Aside from that, I'm pretty much in and out as quickly as possible. At home, with a car magazine, I stay a bit longer. Peace and quiet (sort of) in a world of chaos.

 

the cure to constipation is to gulp down a couple of glasses of water while sitting on the toilet. the water quickly travels down to your large intestine where it softens up the stool, making it easier to exit the anus. people laugh at me when i tell them that, but it works.

 

I'm done within 2min tops. No Joke!

I eat a sh1t load of broccoli everyday. It keeps everything running smoothly.