[QUOTE=zxc,May 5 2006, 12:36 AM]in a society where divorce is high and life complicated, one may hesitate before getting married.

 

well put both Patty and Elistan. The original question, as far as i read it, does not ask people to write how great their marriages are, but rather what are the benefits that one has when married over not married.

the scary thing about this is that people must feel at the time that the other person is willing to be there when the crap hits the fan, but SOMETHING CHANGES between saying i do and the 50% divorce, not to mention the other percentage of bad marriages that aren't divorced yet or "staying together for the kids."

it would appear that much of this comes down to faith and trust in the right person. and since it is difficult to predict how people will react when things get rough, it just paints a grim picture.

however, imagine that, two people who never blame each other and always help/support each other through all of life's ups and downs. sounds so great and so simple. what goes wrong?

 

The longer you are married the more benefits you will see.

You begin married life as 2 different entities but over the years you gradually become one.

When the process begins (and it is a process, not a ceremony) you have different backgrounds but similar tastes and interests. Before you know it you have been married longer than you haven't been married. With that much time together your commonalities grow to exceed your differences.

You hardly ever have to use complete sentences. I might say "Hey, did we . . . ?" and she'll say "Yes, I checked that" or "Turn the car around we've got to go back." And I'm not talking a block or 2 after we got in the car, this can be an hour or more later. it is almost psychotic (or is it pyschic, I always get those 2 words mixed up). It's downright spooky sometimes.

We can be driving around listening to the radio and not talking. When out of a sea of cars, signs, houses, businesses, etc. we'll both notice the same thing. She'll say something like "Boy, that was stupid!" and I'll know exactly what she is talking about.

Thru thick and thin, better or worse, richer & poorer . . . at the ceremony those words sound hookey and don't mean much but as time goes on and you experience them you realize the truth in them and the value of someone who sticks with you.

Mark (Elistan) said that he thought you could commit together and didn't really need the ceremony. (he hasn't been married all that long) I used to think that too, but over the years watching others, I have found that those that didn't commit had a 100% failure rate so even if it only is a 50% success rate with marriage that is significantly better than those that aren't married.

It all goes back to how well you commit in the beginning. If marriage is a convenience thing, or a money thing, get her/your mother/friends off your back thing, a sex thing, or a conformity thing, then it probably won't last. I am a firm believer that way too many people get married because of sex. They finally find someone who'll go to bed with them so they get married. There has to be more to it than that cause "Lust don't last."

With marriage you have the sex but you also have a friend and a companion that is always there. Tastes & styles change (remember the 70's?), friends and interests come and go but your companion stays with you and changes with you.

I read that in a relationship if the sex is good then it is only about 5% of the relationship, but if the sex is bad it is 95%. That doesn't mean you only get sex 5% of the time, just that it isn't the most important reason for being together.

Neither of us are the people we were when we got married. I am downright embarrassed at some of the things I/we did and how stupid we were, but those experiences made us what we are today.

Unmarried people are marked by their stupidity. Less than 5 minutes into a conversation you KNOW if you are talking to a single guy or gal, they are so much more shallow people than married people. They are still worried about minutia like what did someone mean when they said X, or what people with think if they do/buy/go/say whatever. They've never left high school.

Just look at some of the dating posts on this forum. They would be funny if they weren't so pathetic.

So if nothing else a benfit to married life is not being laughed at by everyone else.

And then there is the question of who will look after you when you are sick & when you are old.

 

^Another fairly accurate assessment.

 

You should call Tom Likus on the subject. Tom knows best!

 

Marriage is the only life sentence where you get released because of bad conduct!

 

...on the downside, your next sports car will have an automatic

 

 

You can let yourself go

 

Well put Wildncrazy. Im popping the question in the next few months and your post was most helpfull.