Too much thinking and too much emotion clouds this issue. Actually, it's pretty simple IMO. Parents 'SET' the example. Most children will follow; it just takes some longer. Not every child has the same trigger points that motivate them but they all have an image of how their parents handled life, what their values were, and what they viewed as important. One could argue that kids of today are far superior or conversly they could argue they are far worse - examples of both can easily be found. Bottom line, make your kids proud of you and they in turn will make you proud of them - some sooner than others - but it will happen. Don't despair if they are not living up to your expectations throughout the process, in time they will exceed it.

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by dlq04
Too much thinking and too much emotion clouds this issue.

 

Bill, I know how you feel, so I'll share one story.

My son dropped out after his first semester. He had all A's but said it wasn't for him. That was 15 years ago. I can't tell you how much we worried how he make out. No, he never got his education - even though he clearly had the IQ for it. In fact, he gave his pre-paid college tuition to a younger sister. But today, in his mid-30s, he owns two houses, has two great kids, married to a college grad, and works in a factory making brake parts - - I've never seen him happier and he's ten times the father I ever was. He didn't meet my expectations early in his life but he carved out his own life and exceeded them in many ways that you can't put a price tag on.

 

dlq that was a very interesting story. I have an almost opposite one. My parents came here from Italy when I was very young...they did not have much but have managed a pretty good life here and put all 5 of us through school. I owe them much....because I truly believe that I would not have had the opprotunities that I have had here if we still lived in Italy.

I don't know if I have the guts to do what they did....pick up and leave your family/home/country and start new on the other side of the world....I don't think I would have had the courage.

 

matrix, I can certainly appreciate what your parents did. I had an uncle who died early in life but not before he had five boys - all just a year or two apart! The oldest worked his way through college and paid for the next one, who in turn paid for the next one, who in turn... and all five graduated ..... even though their mother never seemed to have two cents to her name.

 

OK, I guess this is one of those rare times I'm actually going to post everything I wrote. Sorry for the length and anything that might sound repetitive from the posts above. Here goes:

BLAME THE PARENTS!!!

OK, now that I

 

[QUOTE]Originally posted by dlq04
matrix, I can certainly appreciate what your parents did.

 

I continue to read and enjoy this thread. Some things make me laugh. Some make me think.

Ralper, you're right about the shoes. Cost alone is not my beef. Associating "fitting in" based on buying power at their age is. And about the phone calls- I know it happens. That's why I added some emoticons.

Unable to accept change? That would not be me, however, not all change is for the better.

Someone mentioned more organized activities. Having been blessed with children that do enjoy sports/Cub Scouts/Brownies/etc., yes, we have gladly given many hours to attend/participate. Let me ask you this because I truly do not know. Were there always so many parent fights at events? You correctly touched upon what I believe to be a problem. Parents, generally fathers, trying to live through their child's sport. "Well, look at what Tiger's dad did to/for him," is echoed too many times. Heck, at a soccer playoff game, a parent for the opposing team was yelling onto the field to her son, "Just score two more goals and you get the PS2!" That's the right thing to teach our youth. We need to encourage our children to pursue interests, not push them. Give them the time and tools to succeed, but don't force something on them.

I believe too much organization, too much instant anything, can stifle the potential creativity of a child. Remember, "I'm going outside to pay with my friends?" Yes, I do. I seem to remember only three TV stations. And PBS. I remember anxiously waiting for the "The Wonderful World of Disney" on Sunday nights and Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom." Oddly enough, I don't seem to remember as many overweight kids in my neighborhood. I remember daily "To Do" lists. I remember 2-week family vacations. I don't remember the all the health releases saying that everything is bad for you. Bad example- lung cancer took my dad this year.

Once again, I've gone way past the three sentences I intended. Sorry.

 

^ You are right about kids and sports these days. Have you also noticed that there are so many liability issues with everything?? It's almost impossible for anyone to have fun anymore. Kids and adults, too!

 

I will start with I have no kids.

After reading many replies here, I will quote Socrates:
"Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers."
Change a few words and there you are.

The only generation that I am disappointed with is my own. We were going to change the world and make it better.....