Granted. They are murky now.





I wish my contact lenses would be sent already so I wouldn't have to keep wearing the "practice" ones the eye doctor assigned to me for two weeks.

 

Granted. They arrive. . . and they're the wrong prescription.

I wish I had a fish.

 

Granted. You buy a Conspicillatus Angel for $1500 and forget to turn on the filtration system and it dies the next day.


I wish my work would complete itself.

 

Granted. you are now obsolete (more than before) and are fired.

I wish i knew when I was 18 what I know now.

 

granted, you got 15 girls pregnant, and double the STD rate in your town. Your dick falls off when you are 18 and 2 months. As far as working/business knowledge, it hasn't changed. So you are a dickless bum.

I wish resistance 2 beta would open already.

 

Granted. It opens and you don't make it on the beta-tester list.

I wish I had more shepard's pie for lunch.

 

Granted. You're eathing the Shepard's pie and her husband finds you and shoots you after sodomizing you because you also bumped uglies with his sheep.

I wish I could buy this car I found.

 

Granted, but then you get assraped by mini-raj who was hiding in the trunk with all the obama posters.

I wish palin was as hot as she thinks she it.

 

Granted. However, in realizing this, she starts dressing more conservatively to help keep up appearances that she's qualified despite being smoking hot.

I wish I hadn't woken up at 4:30 this morning for no good reason.

 

Granted. You woke up at 4:30 to clean up the pile of feces you created and thusly slept in.


I wish it were happy hour already