Granted... and while doing so you manage to catch every STD in the book.


I wish my house was paid off.

 

granted, but because the crash of the market, it is still worth nothing

I wish to change lanes without signalling more often

 

Granted, but you get traded and end up being on the loosing team.


I wish I wasn't so tired all the time.

 

Granted. Now you're an insomniac.


I wish the driving range were open right now.

 

Granted the driving range is now open; but will not be by the time you get there.

I wanna ham n' cheese sammich.

 

granted. Unfortunately you don't remember eating it so your left feeling hungry and unfulfilled.



I wish my dog didn't wag her tail so much.

 

Granted. However, canine entropy being what it is, she's now crapping a lot more. . . including on your carpet.

I wish I had a home in Hillsborough.

 

Granted. Welcome to life in a single-wide.


I wish I could teleport myself to PA this weekend instead of driving.

 

granted, its called a plane ticket, and your plane overshot and crashed in the ocean, you survived only to swim for another day or 2 before giving in to the creeping black death you cannot escape any longer.


I wish i could get a free nitrous kit for my car.

 

Granted. Then you race Johnny Tran for pinks and he beats you and you lose your car.



I wish to be able to sleep till 9 am every morning.