Granted. You get in a horrible accident with your new Gallardo and become a vegetable. You get fed through a tube and sit staring at walls for the rest of your life.


I wish this tea we have at work tasted a lot better.

 

Granted, then you realize that the secret new ingredient is urine.




I wish Currahee had paid for my meal at Saladang this Saturday.

 

Granted. Because Currahee paid for your meal, he wanted something in return and you sucked his d*ck.




I wish I had taken a different class instead of Anthropology.

 

Granted, you take compartive woman's studies and a really large lesbian see you in this picture:


and then is so offended that she and 10 of her friends capture you and defile your anus with an unlubricated broomstick.




I wish I could have a gourmet lunch today.

 

Granted, but the angry lesbian (redundant) dishwasher, who failed out of law school becuase of your internet attacks, spikes your food with her hep C...

I wish you had a gourmet lunch today....

 

Granted. They gave us napkins. I felt fortunate.

I wish to have a sammich waiting for me when I get home.

 

Granted, you win a cockmeat sammich. Giddyup!



I wish I didn't hurt my back today.

 

Granted. You hurt your jawbone and everytime you chew or talk it hurts like hell.


I wish my group members for our presentation weren't almost all ESL students

 

Granted, they are all EFL and non-proficient in the first 4, too

I wish I hadn't just eaten 3/4 pack of walnut, oatmeal, cc cookies.

 

Granted. Your colon and the rest of your GI tract is golden. . . we won't talk about your ticker though. . .

I wish to see a woman named Rachel.