Granted, but you are now a research subject living inside a pharmaceutical lab for the rest of your life.

I wish I were the most eligible bachelor in America.

 

Granted, the line of guys waiting to make your acquaintance stretches for miles.

I wish I had a job on Wall Street.

 

Granted. You make millions in a single day, then get nailed the next day for insider trading. Your cellmate's name is Bubba.

I wish I had won the powerball lotto the other day.

 

Congrats... but you lost the ticket.

I wish I only worked 6 hours a day.

 

Wish granted, but the job is steam cleaning the inside of dumpsters and although you only work 6 hours a day, it's 7 days a week and you get no holidays or vacation.

I wish I had 3 more wishes.

 

Granted, but your next 2 wishes are stupid and you end up owing no_really $.20.

I wish I had drank a little less gin this early in the evening.

 

wish granted. Instead, you drank beer. Lots of it. So much, in fact, that you got the worst case of alcohol poisoning anyone has ever seen without dying and you can't stand to ever taste beer again.

I wish I had x-ray vision.

 

Granted. You mistake the skeleton of a slender-bodied man for that of your wife, and end up on the most embarrassing episode of "Cheaters" ever.

I wish for a new car of my choice every year for the rest of my life.

 

Granted, within days your driver's license is permanently revoked.

I wish they would lower rent on my apartment with no adverse affects on anyone.

 

Granted. Welcome to the ghetto.

I wish I had a month's salary every time someone posted a wish in this thread.