Once there three male dogs who set eyes on a beautiful female poodle.

They all rushed over to her. Aware of her charms, she said, "I will go out with the first one of you who can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' together in an intelligent sentence."

Immediately the German Shepherd said, "I like liver and cheese.

"No imagination at all, said the poodle."

Next was the English Bulldog, who blurted, "I hate liver and cheese."
"That's worse than the Lab," she replied.

Finally the Cuban dog smiled at his opponents, gave the poodle a knowing wink, and said "Liver alone, cheese mine."

 

I asked my Puerto Rican friend if my turn signal was working, he said

Yes
No
Yes
No
Yes
No

 

What's the difference between a Q-ball and a Mexican?

The harder you hit'em the more English they pick up.

 

What did Davie Crocket say at the Alamo?

What are all these landscapers doing here?

 

Why didn't Loraina Bobbit throw the dick out the window fast enough?

Because she didn't have the balls

 

Why do they call Wednesday hump day when you really get laid on the weekends?

 

This woman cut her husband

 

 

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie.

The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope,
sorry, three-wish genies are a story book myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So...
what'll it be?"

The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in theMiddle East. See
this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I
want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will
bring about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These
countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after
being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I
don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be reasonable."

The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, romantic,
likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is good in bed, and gets
along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful.
That is what I wish for...a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the fuc king map again."

 

The Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl this year!