[B]WHY MEN DON

 

What does a Muslim pussy looks like?

 

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-nine-year-olds?

Because there's twenty of them.

 

Take it easy lady...

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so, he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't."
"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Mexico with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."
She didn't crack a smile. "Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing. "What's so funny?" he asked.
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"

 

New face lift surgery
woman goes to DR. for information, finds out the new surgery they put a small slit on the side of your head. They then give you a key,you put into slit and tighten as needed. She loves the idea and has the surgery... 3 months later she goes running into the DR. office crying and pointing under her eye's and say's look at these lump's under my eyes!!!!!!!!! The DR. looks @ the woman and says those aren't lumps,those are your BREAST'S.... To which the woman reply's OH THAT EXPLAINS THE GO-TEE...

 

i dont get it.

 

She pulled too hard....

Lte's try this on

During a trial in a small Missouri town, the local prosecuting attorney
called his first witness to the stand. She was sworn in, asked if she
would "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, on
the Bible," so help her God. She agreed. The witness was a proper
well-dressed elderly lady, well spoken and poised.

The prosecuting attorney approached the woman and asked, "Mrs. Jones,do
you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk badly about them
behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't
the sense to realize you never will amount to anything more than a
two-bit paper-pushing shyster. Yes, I know you quite well."

The lawyer was stunned. He couldn't even think for a few moments. Then, he
slowly backed away, fearing the looks on the judge and jurors' faces, not
to mention the court reporter who documented every word. Not knowing what
else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know
the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was
a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, has a bad drinking problem. The man
can't build or keep a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice
is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on
his wife with three different women. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost fainted and was seen slipping downward in his
chair, looking at the floor. Laughter mixed with gasps, thundered
throughout the courtroom and the audience was on the verge of chaos.

At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to silence, called
both counselors to the bench, and in a very quiet voice said, "If either
of you morons asks her if she knows me, you're going to jail."

 

 

hahaha those 2 = much better :thumbsup:

 

a man gave blood to save his girlfriends life. they break up and he wants it all back. so she gives him a tampon and says here f**ker ! monthly payments.

(ty for that one john )