Marriage is the Number One Cause of Divorce!!

 

Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.

 

 

^ Dang I hope your not married cause you would have a pissed off wife

 

Wedding Test

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we
decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me.

It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and
generally was braless.

She would regularly bend down and it was more than a pleasant view.

She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the
wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had
feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got
married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm
going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just
come up and get me."

I was stunned- frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

She pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.

I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the
front door...I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Low and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said,
"We Are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask
for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is.....

ALWAYS keep your condoms in your car!

 

I'm on my second one that's why

 

... hopefully you don't need to start looking for a 3rd!

 

I tell my wife I'm turning gay if we get divorced. If the opposite sex didn't work twice I'll try the same sex next time maybe it'll work out

 

Third time is a CHARM they say! So after three then you should go gay!

 

THE WALL

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been
going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long
time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there
he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. ,She watched him pray and
after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane, in a
slow fashion, she approached him for an interview.

"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the
Western Wall and praying ?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years ! That's amazing ! If i may ask you Sir, what do you pray for ?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray
for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up
in safety and friendship."

And how do you feel after doing this for 60 years ?"

Like I'm talking to a ****in' wall!!"